Awake in the middle of
the night
And asleep all day.
Maybe it's because I am
without you,
Or maybe just because
I've been doing too much.
I don't know.
All I know is I'm
thinking of you.
Thinking of where your
neck meets your collarbone
And the scent that
escapes from it.
Thinking of your lips
that I enjoy so much to kiss.
Thinking of how many
men want me
When they don't even
know who I am...
No one knows who I am,
I don't even know who I
am.
But I desperately
search to find myself.
Lost. Everything is lost.
Solitary
confinement.
I feel like my brain is
tired. Fried.
But I keep thinking,
and seeing.
All I keep seeing is
you.
I walk absent-mindedly
down the street,
Throughout this town;
This stage in my life.
Hoping to find
something priceless and everlasting.
Like everyone else on
this damn planet.
Foraging through
multitudes of junk and memories
Only to be erased
Or blocked permanently
out of view.
I keep seeing you.
Different. Unusual.
Indescribable.
But at the same time
kind and gentle to me.
I could have never
imagined you would be this way
That anyone could be
this way.
That I could hold you
and want you.
Be driven crazy by
you
Or have at least some
sense of direction
You're part of my sense
of direction
Reliability, that is my
sense of direction
That you have helped to
create.
Morning comes,
But I am still awake.
Another sleepless
night
Thinking of you.
I question myself as to
my ability to comprehend
My current situation
And where my true
feelings lie.
I'm in this world for
but a moment.
Just a blink of time.
And my decisions always
seem to last a lifetime
As minuscule as
everyone else's seem to be.
If I could change this
maybe I would ...
Or perhaps I wouldn't.
I don't know.
All I know is everyone
wants to feel special.
And I guess that's what
I want.
To feel in some way
needed; to feel enjoyed,
To be something more
than another physical replacement for loneliness
Everyone wants to be
that.
I'm not unlike everyone else in so many ways,
Even though I wish to
be.
Maybe I just want to be
alone.