Maybe

Awake in the middle of the night

And asleep all day.

Maybe it's because I am without you,

Or maybe just because I've been doing too much.

I don't know.

All I know is I'm thinking of you.

 

Thinking of where your neck meets your collarbone

And the scent that escapes from it.

Thinking of your lips that I enjoy so much to kiss.

Thinking of how many men want me

When they don't even know who I am...

 

No one knows who I am,

I don't even know who I am.

But I desperately search to find myself.

Lost.  Everything is lost. 

Solitary confinement. 

I feel like my brain is tired.  Fried.

But I keep thinking, and seeing.

All I keep seeing is you.

 

I walk absent-mindedly down the street,

Throughout this town;

This stage in my life.

Hoping to find something priceless and everlasting.

Like everyone else on this damn planet.

Foraging through multitudes of junk and memories

Only to be erased

Or blocked permanently out of view.

 

I keep seeing you.

Different.  Unusual.  Indescribable.

But at the same time kind and gentle to me.

I could have never imagined you would be this way

That anyone could be this way.

That I could hold you and want you.

Be driven crazy by you

Or have at least some sense of direction

You're part of my sense of direction

Reliability, that is my sense of direction

That you have helped to create.

 

Morning comes,

But I am still awake.

Another sleepless night

Thinking of you.

I question myself as to my ability to comprehend

My current situation

And where my true feelings lie.

I'm in this world for but a moment.

Just a blink of time.

And my decisions always seem to last a lifetime

As minuscule as everyone else's seem to be.


If I could change this maybe I would ...

Or perhaps I wouldn't.

I don't know.

All I know is everyone wants to feel special.

And I guess that's what I want.

To feel in some way needed; to feel enjoyed,

To be something more than another physical replacement for loneliness

Everyone wants to be that.

I'm not unlike everyone else in so many ways,

Even though I wish to be.

 

Maybe I just want to be alone.


Comments:
 
StarPoet   StarPoet wrote
on 12/25/2008 12:05:31 AM
Trenchtown is right for the honesty in this is touching. You wrote with so much frustration and confusion yet I think you controlled and expressed it very well. For some reason, your writing here bought a sad jazz song to mind. "My Blue Heart" by Bill Sharpe. Hmmm.....

Trenchtownrock   Trenchtownrock wrote
on 12/24/2008 2:01:08 PM
I love the honesty of this piece. The heart is displayed in this write and the poem flows very well. Good Job!

tigercatracing
Poetry
Free Verse
writing tigercatracing
"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."
~Buddha
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