For "Mr. Wallen, Sir" (I mean "Mr. Monty Sir")

There's no way to describe how I'm feeling now
Just that my heart is broken
I wake up every hour and look over
Hoping it's all just a bad dream and maybe you're still there
Telling me you're happy

Every time I breathe it hurts
But not the same kind of ache I first felt
I wish there was something I could do to make this different
But everything goes over in my mind the same
You knew this couldn't last forever
And you told me every day
I guess maybe I hoped that you were wrong
If there was a god he loved me.

I throw up; I grind my teeth
I toss and turn cause you're not here
There's so much I wanted to say
So much I wanted to learn
That I could learn
From you

Everyone will know
I know it was your fear, but I'm not ashamed
They'll see my pictures on your wall
All the letters and maybe that earring on the floor
I lost the first time I found out how much you loved me

I hope before you died you got the mail
And opened my letter I sent you
So you knew how much I loved you
But that no matter what I didn't need you
I know I still don't but god I wish I did

You say I make you happy more than you've been in a while
That every time I left part of you was lost
You didn't know you ever had
Maybe they saw you as fun and colorful and talented
But I knew you as passionate and complex and intimate
I close my eyes and I can still feel you touch me.

In only 17 days you made my life complete
Full of passion, patience, and understanding
That only you could give.
In a year and 12 days you've changed me
You said I was special
Every single day "God led me to you, you're special."
I didn't want to believe you
For me it must have been the same.

I want you to know every day I thank you
For teaching me how to feel, all these wonderful emotions
And all the energy and life you gave me
Maybe it was exchange for your own, I don't know
You're right our moments were just temporary I must cherish them
As I know you will every second, every minute, and every day that we're apart

My heart is broken, it may never be complete without you.
You and I, we were a team.
Maybe we still are or maybe it's just me
I love you, I love you, I love you
I will always be your good friend.

I can't believe in only 17 days I could love someone so much
As I will you for as long as I'm here without you
I just close my eyes and wrap my arms around you
Your memory's still here.