Letting Go

Letting Go

            My darling little girl I am afraid that this will be the last time I ever hold you in my arms.  I never thought that doing the right thing could hurt so much.  You are going to grow up, and you are not even going to remember my face.  There is so much that I wish I could have the chance to tell you as you grow up in this world.  I will not be there to tell you these things.  Another woman will be, a woman you will grow up calling “mommy.” Who knows, that may even turn out to be your first word.  It could be the first word out your mouth and you will never even know that it isn’t the truth.

            I know that you will make me proud.  You will grow up to be a wonderful person; the person I never managed to find in myself.  You can make up for my mistakes in life by living your life right.  Always be virtuous and kind.  A random act of kindness for a perfect stranger can sometimes change the world.  Be polite and courteous to all those around, but most especially to your new mommy and daddy.  They love you already and they haven’t even met you.  These are their pictures right here, see?  They look like very nice people.  I picked them myself.  They will give you the life that I would never be able to.

            Show your gratitude to them each and everyday for everything that they do.  Love them back every little bit that they love you.  Always listen to them, for they only want what is best for you.  Comfort your mother when she is sad.  Show your daddy that you are still his little girl, even when you’re all grown up.  Take care of your younger siblings, should you ever be lucky enough to have any.  Remember, they will look up to you.  Be the good role model that they need.  Be nice to your teachers.  Share with your classmates.  Make lots of friends.  When you find true friends, hold on to them for dear life.  Never let a boy come between two friends.  Broken hearts are inevitable, just remember to keep your chin up and that life goes on.  Don’t be afraid to tell your mommy about your heartaches.  Whatever you go through, I’m sure she’s been there too. 

            Sometimes friends try and get you to do things that you aren’t comfortable with.  Remember that you can always walk away, even if it means losing those friends.  They weren’t really friends anyways if they don’t understand.  Keep your body healthy.  God gave you perfect health against all odds.  Treasure that forever.  Don’t pollute your body the way I did mine. Drugs lead you down a very dark path; one that I don’t want you to follow me down.  One harmless addiction can lead to another.  Before you even realize it you’re in so deep you can no longer even see the way out.  I needed that hit so badly I took it even when I knew I didn’t have the money to pay for it.  That dealer forced payment from me in a different way.  Whoever would have thought that the worst night of my life would eventually lead me to the miracle that I am holding in my arms now, nine months later.

            Grow up and make your parents proud.  Never give up on your dreams.  Make something of yourself.  Stay in school and get a good education.  Always live for the moment while still reflecting on your past and looking to your future.  Don’t dwell on regrets or grudges.  Forgiveness can go a long way.  Always take time to laugh each and every day.  Love with all your heart.  Most of all though, should you ever find out about me, and what I have done here today, please forgive me.  Forgive me and try to understand.  I wish I could keep you all to myself until the end of time.  I wish that I could be the one to give you this advice as you grow, instead of trying to squeeze to the only 5 minutes that I have with you.  Understand that I am doing this because it is what is best for you.  I want you to have a chance at a life that is better than this.  I love you too much to make you pay for my mistakes.  I love you so much that I have to let you go.  I am giving you the chance to be whoever you want to be. I would do anything just to give you something better. So, take my heart for it surely now belongs to you.  It is truly all I have to give you.  I have torn my heart apart to give you the life I could not otherwise provide.  Please take this gift and use it to become the wonderful and caring person I have no doubt that you will become.  I hear the nurse outside waiting to take you to your new life.  I guess it is time for goodbyes.  Goodbye my darling little girl.

 


Comments:
 
Trenchtownrock   Trenchtownrock wrote
on 5/13/2009 6:26:30 AM
I love this story..it is told so well and the storyline just flows wonderfully as I read the piece..you paint the characters well and allowed me to see it unfold before me..good work.

staceymarche
Short Story
Drama
writing staceymarche
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Synopsis
A woman takes her last 5 minutes with her newborn baby girl to say goodbye before giving her up for adoption.
A Word from the Writer
this was something written for an english project.
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