Barry Mannilow just won’t die,

His songs assault us wherever we go.

On elevators they wait until the doors close,

When Somewhere in the Night bores deep into our heads

And staying for days

This Ones for You, just why is it needed?

With no redeeming qualities

That I can see,

It’s not easy to dance to

And just what does it mean?

Thank you Entertainment tonight,

For keeping Barry right on the front

With chipper stories as your hook

Drawing us under your spell.

Mandy, Copacabana, or I go Crazy

To name a few

Can only mean that Barry was sent to earth

By Satan himself.

How do we rid ourselves

Of Barry’s curse?

By living in the wilderness

Or a bullet in the brain.