Come Be With Me

  I see you in the flowers of spring.
 I hear you in the whispering winds. 
I feel you in the warm touch of autumn.
 I love you in my dreams. 
I need you in my live. 
Come be with me.


Comments:
 
TongFengDeMao   TongFengDeMao wrote
on 10/15/2008 7:08:27 PM
This is another one I would rather have more showing than telling. This is my own bugaboo in writing this kind of poetry and I know how hard it is! I don't know that I can do any better. It's my most common self-criticism, but I (the reader) want to see, hear, feel and sense the love and need, rather than be told. I would not change the last line, though. (and I think you mean "life" rather than "live.")

shwangltd
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