Wallowing in the mist

Cemented in my position

refute the opposition

wise in my decesion

in the height of my derision

alarmed in my suspicion

as i hear the crowing crow

build my self esteem

just to be trampled on the low

what is it i sow?

in turn to only reap

concious in every thought

to the last minute of my sleep

awaken in a stooper

trying to decifer out the signs

seeking out the honeycombs

in the midst of all the pines

what is it of time?

how does it exist?

controls my every direction

as it wallows in the mist

although i still persist

its like trying to catch the wind

treking across the globe

as the one he who send


Comments:
 
zaccats   zaccats wrote
on 11/8/2011 10:50:12 PM
Not bad I did enjoy the flow of the poem. Could there be more apostrophes, full stops. and capitols ?? it might make it better. Sincerely zaccat

StarPoet   StarPoet wrote
on 4/26/2011 6:48:46 PM
I agree with Trench...great flow and movement. One thing you may work on is your spellings for you have some words misspelled. To a reader especially when words are in print form, words spelled wrong sends a not so good message about the writer. I was reminded of this fact in last Sunday's (4/24/2011) "Celebrity Apprentice" when the men's team misspelled several words on a brochure about Donald Trump's hotels. And those mistakes were pointed out very much so. Still, you got skillz, my young friend!

phonetics   phonetics wrote
on 2/24/2011 2:00:42 PM
ahhh I see. Cawing would be the appropiate describing word and surely I am the defention of a city guy lol. Thanks for the update. Won't make that mistake again

phonetics   phonetics wrote
on 2/24/2011 1:29:03 PM
Thanks bro well appreciated

Elton4562   Elton4562 wrote
on 2/24/2011 12:08:51 PM
I enjoyed reading this as well as your previous poems. I'd bet that you are a city guy. It's a rooster that you would hear "crowing." When you hear a crow, it will be "cawing." There's a huge difference in the two sounds and the words used to describe them. Thanks for sharing your poem with us. Elton

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phonetics
Poetry
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writing phonetics
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