Mr. B. Gets Bargain Teeth
I had a part time job working for Mr. B. doing daily chores, from which position I became a close friend. I remember one summer when Mr. B. had all his teeth pulled. After a few months, Mr. B.'s gums became very tough, and he could eat almost anything and would have happily continued toothless always. However, Mrs. B. began to chide him about his personal appearance. “Good Grief,” she would say, “with your teeth gone your face keeps shrinking, and you’re starting to look like you were run over by a truck. You need to get some teeth.” Now, Mr. B. was a lover of good bargains, so he was just delighted when a door to door denture salesman  knocked at his door, and offered to make dentures for half the regular price. The salesman said he would take the impressions right there at the table and then send them to a laboratory where … PRESTO!, they would make his teeth, and mail them instantly back to him. So, over the objections of Mrs. B., a deal was struck and Mr. B. bought new teeth sight unseen.
Eventually, the dental update arrived, and Mr. B. installed his bargain teeth immediately and went to take a look in a mirror. The denture salesman must have really liked Mr. B., because he seemed to have given him several extra teeth in his appliance. Actually, I never saw any person with that many teeth. Mr. B. couldn't, by any means, get his lips closed or to even touch.  He was stuck looking like he had tried to swallow
the grille an old Buick.  He carried a perpetual big grin. Mrs. B. said “I think your tooth salesman probably had taken an order to make teeth for a horse and got it mixed up with yours." Still, Mr. B. was determined. "I'll get the good out of them anyway." he said and stubbornly wore them every day.
One day Mrs. B. asked him, "Do you mind going in the other room for a little while? I don't feel very well, and I can't stand you grinning at me like that when I’m sick." Mr. B. replied sharply around his teeth and over his big grin, "Don’t start picking on me. I have a splitting headache myself!” Eventually, Mr. B. just carried his cut-rate teeth in his shirt pocket and only wore them when he had company. Strangely, his perpetual grin made visitors very uncomfortable. They assumed he grinned like that, because he knew some personal secret about them, so they
quickly became nervous and seldom stayed more than a few minutes.
After Mr. B. died, Mrs. B. put the teeth in the top drawer of a night stand. She said, “I can’t have him goin’ off to heaven looking like that. You never know who he’s likely to meet.”  I was helping Mrs. B with the chores one day, when she asked me to assist her in locating something she had misplaced. As I wandered around, looking here and there, I happened to open that night stand drawer, and I was startled for a moment. There were those big teeth looking menacingly at me. I had a sudden thought that… somewhere there is a horse with big troubles of his own.

M Paul Burress

Comments:
 
Rob5679   Rob5679 wrote
on 3/1/2010 3:00:21 AM
Realy enjoyed that. Maybe the tooth salesman worked for Toyota and the teeth thing was a little moonlighting-sideline. Nice job.

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Short Story
Comedy
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Synopsis
The moral of this story escapes me but I think the teeth may be had at a reasonable price if you're in the market. They come with guarantee to enlarge your smile, sold as is
A Word from the Writer
Maybe you could find the horse and swap, I'm sure it would be for it.
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