life we all wonder why where here why we live and why we die why we take things for granted and why we love those who will never love us and why we make mistakes why we will never see the greatness in life why some are strong and some are week

some people will spend there whole life searching for there soul mate and never find them
some will

some will spend there whole life finding the thing they love to do for the rest of there life
some will not

some will never really no how good they have it
some will

i life my life not for myself but my family and the people who truly matter to me that doesnt mean im wasteing my life but making others better helping them through each day to no that i am strong anough to make it through anything so i can take the good with the bad and life when times for others would be to much will happen and go i lost alot but didnt gain alot but i dont care its part of life why do things for others why live for them cause the best thing is life are the ones you love why not live your life for them to make them happy and show them how much you care and keep them up from falling show them each and everyday how strong you are while your insides are getting ripped out and torn apart i will be like this for my entire life and will not change and just think about myself why cause i dont see the point in it i dont see the point of only making yourself happy you should be there when your loved ones need you and do everything in your power to help them and make them happy

my mind is on a constant state of ruming and thinking and worrying and i can deal with that i can deal with all the pain and misery and all the bad things that happen to me but others arent like that so i need to be the one that everyone looks up to and looks forward to and count on me for everything they need my minds wondering at all times of the day but most of the time i dont relize it i no my minds thinking and worrying but its been like for so long i dont comprehend my thoughts but its alright my minds a fucked up place to be i think of things that people would never even come close to thinking im not perfect im far from it but the non perfect person is trapted inside my head and trapted for as long as i can keep it there my tears are trapted there forever as long as i can do that crying doesnt mean your weak but to me is shows a weakness to me and i dont cry i dont shred a tear why cause thats not who i am i will not change for anyone i will not change myself and the way i think or the way i ask or the things i hide why cause this is me and i rather it stay that way

i dont look to the future wondering all the good that comes and not worry about the bad because with everything good that comes 100 things bad come so i dont search for the good but i exspect the bad to come i no in my life its coming and its never gonna end thats how my lifes always been and its never gonna change but i dont mind it cause its been like this forever and forever i will not exspect anything good to happen and i will live my life the best i can but i dont care to much about myself but for others so forever i will love and do everything for the ones i love and think about myself here and there all i ever wish and pray for is that i live longer then my sister cause she doesnt have the power to survive another one lost i have always been the strong one like when my sister jessica was killed i was the one to hold her up when she was going down and take care of her and make sure she was alright 24-7 but thats why im here and thats my calling to protect and take care of the people i love i dont need nothing myself but ill give everything to them i dont need nothing in return all i need to no is that they will be alright as long as i am here to do anything about it i would go to jail without thinking twice for someone i love if my sister killed someone i would hide the body and if she was to almost get caught i would give myself up for her say i did it and take the plain i would die a millions times over and over again deal witrh the pain to keep my loved ones alive why cause my only weakness is i care to much