Solitude
There is movement all around
but I lay without a sound,
while people laugh and play
I lay in pure dismay

People come and go
while I lay in the white snow
they talk amongst themselves
and prance around like elves.
They sing and laugh and play
while I lay in pure dismay
they walk around in groups,
while I'm in an empty coup

There is movement all around
but I lay without a sound
as I lay in pure dismay
they walk around in groups,
while I'm in an empty coup

There is movement all around
but i lay without a sound
as people come and go
I lay in the white snow

The people are a plane
they fly around the lane
I represent the rain
and fall right down the drain.
They talk amongst themselves
I stand like those bookshelves
they walk around the town
while I lay my ill form down

There is movement all around
but I lay without a sound
as people fly above
I die, a broken dove


Comments:
 
Moqui_Takoda   Moqui_Takoda wrote
on 1/6/2009 10:56:26 AM
the skill of the poem speaks for itself ... its beauty is obvious as is its skillful rendering with an easy almost nonchalant flair ... the mark of a poet in transgression of the easy route to self expression and in love with writing ... so please tell me what form you have used here ... there are so many repeating line forms and I love them all, but this one is completely charming ... did you design it yourself? true poets do that ... its repetitions are simply beautifully rhythmic ...

rbouncha   rbouncha wrote
on 1/4/2009 9:11:43 PM
great detailed poem. I like how you illustrate the description of the people's mood's and thoughts. Kind of remains me of the time where we can just simply watch everyone movements and see our lives in perspective. "Wow imagine that!" Well anyways i greatly appreciate your writing.

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