my life has taken a sharp downward turn

i cannot find joy, my heart feels only grief.

no more pleasure from watching candles burn

or counting veins on the back of a leaf.

i spend the hours of my life alone in bed

trying to keep the outside world at bay,

straining to conceal voices in my head

and wonder if i’ll make it through today.

all the world around me so soon has grown dark

there is no beauty left to bring me joy.

black and grey surround me—lines so stark,

straight-edge razors are my favorite toy.

too afraid to live – too afraid to die

too afraid to breathe – i can only cry.