I Still Feel
Everywhere I go, I hear them as they always call to me
Never letting me forget, that once upon a time they were literally a part of me
In the back of my mind they are always there, calling out to me, saying,"Mommie"
Always in my mind, me always hearing their heart felt pleas.
Six children, that escaped the hardships of life, escaping sadly, by the hand of death
I wanted each one of them, now all I have are my aching arms, and a breaking heart
All were tragically taken, they never even got to take their very first breath
My babies, that await me on high, they never had a chance, from the very start.
My children, my off spring, they still call to me because I, was mommy
There were never any diapers to change, I never had to get up in the middle of the night
Why oh why, did it have to be this way? Surely, this isn't the way it was meat to be
If they were here today, I would just hold on to them very tight.
Some women make me so sick, able to have healthy children, and the way they treat them, it has to be a sin
They no more want their children, than they do a dreaded disease
If they only knew  what it was like to be without their children, as they constantly lounge in heartache's den
But mommies like me so badly want their children, we would swallow our pride and say please
Six children, I always wonder, what it would have been like or what would they have grown up to be
Three boys and three girls, they were real even if they made it, for awhile to be inside of me
They had a spirit, one some day, I hope will be with me
By my side, I will get to know them, from them, I would never flee
High blood pressure, the silent killer, wasn't pleased by doing just this to me
I had a stroke, taking my ability to walk away from me, confining me to a chair with wheels
But he hasn't won, he didn't break my spirit, just making me stronger, something he didn't have planned, something he didn't plan on or see
He took my babies, he too my ability to walk, but by just making me stronger, he didn't win in any way, because I'm not destroyed and I still live, I still feel.

BlueIris   BlueIris wrote
on 7/4/2008 1:56:13 PM
I hope you don't mind that I gave a lot of suggestions. If you would like more, message me.

BlueIris   BlueIris wrote
on 7/4/2008 1:52:12 PM
Very moving. You spelled the word "mommy" two different ways in the poem. In the first stanza "heart felt" should be "heartfelt". In the last line of the first stanza, "Always in my mind, me..." sounds a little awkward. You could probably just cut "me" or instead, say, "Always in my mind; I always hear..." or "Always in my mind; I'm always hearing..." In the second stanza, where you write about "aching arms, and a breaking heart," I thought of an empty belly. In the third stanza, "off spring" should be "offspring". In the next line, there should be a semicolon after "change". In the following line, "meat" should be "meant". In the last line of that stanza, what about "I would hold onto them so tightly."?

danicpa68   danicpa68 wrote
on 7/3/2008 5:34:58 AM
Beautifully expressed. I'm so sorry for your losses.

StarPoet   StarPoet wrote
on 7/3/2008 12:22:10 AM
I liked your determination. You are not going to let what happened to you hold you back from living the rest of your life. So, so sad about the children. I feel with you and for you.

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writing lanaia74
dark poet, fantasy writer
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This describes me to a tee!
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