Untitled Writing

                                                            Openingthe Door

The door isn’topen.  It is a Mondayafternoon.  Lily had just come backfrom school: Sherman Oaks High School. She is in 11th grade and is 17 years old.  While standing at the door, she knocksonce or twice.  The sound of thering is hollowed, stale and dull. Her mom Clover, comes home, opens the key door and let’s herself inalong with her daughter.  Inside,Lily’s room there are wide windows with writing words all over.  The words are thin lined and have boldmeanings: like, “I am needing to understand this very detail.”  It is the detail of life.  This she has not conquered.  She has no way of seeing herselffitting in with other peers. Nothing’s right, she’s, either way too shy, not cool enough or little tonerdy on the English side.  Her mind wonders because she is tired of the old, dreadful schoolday.  At school her favoritesubject is English. She loves to write stories and poems, but never reallyhangs out with cliques or anything, just types on her computer minding her ownbusiness without any contact with the real world.

            “Hey,mom, can you come over here? I need help on my English paper,” Lily alwaysneeds help on homework assignments and usually does everything wrong.  She can’t figure out why.

            “Okay,I’m coming over to help you, just hold on,” Clover says.

            “Mom!!Come now.  I can’t hold on longer,”she has trouble keeping her tone down.

                “What’s the matter Lily,ugh,” her mom says.

            “I—Ijust need help with my thesis statement,” Lily says.

            “Well,I don’t know what that is,” her mom says.

            “Giveit to your teacher to work out,” her mom goes down stairs to cook dinner.

            “Oh,fine.  Let me be, I’ll finish on myown,” Lily begins writing, rewriting and practicing social skills out in thecommunity with only: her mom. Usually, she refuses to hang out with the ‘regular’ crowd because shejust doesn’t fit in. In the world, there is a lot out there, like driving carsand Lily is only one who is on the naïve and innocent side. 

            Itis 9 o’clock and it is time for Lily’s bedtime.  The clock seems fast as it goes around clockwise repeatingnumbers in each minute.  She readsherself to sleep.  The book has awhite paper, binding.  It has finebold print and a blue hard cover bound. Recently, she has just started reading, and has never stoppedwriting. 

            “Mom,can you tuck me in?” Lily asks.

            “Yes,honey, I can, hold on tough,” she comes down stairs quickly.

            “Okay,”Lily climbs into bed.

            “Sorry,I just had to put the laundry in the dryer,” mom says.

            “Goodnight Lily,” she kisses Lily on the forehead. 

            “Goodnight mom,” Lily gently falls asleep. 

            Inthe morning Lily wakes up to the call of the birds chirping, it sounds likelovely chimes mimicking each other. One bird looks wooden hollowed and has red gallant stripes beneath itsbelly.  The sky is filled withfluffy white pillows.  Lily findsthat she does lots of things wrong in her life.  Lily screws up whenever talking to people or she says randomwords at wrong times, not reacting to social relationships.

            Shegoes to school the next day.  Theroom is filled with terror, as the views are tight, rigid, off balance, andscary.  To her, people stick out alot because they are not like her. To be honest, she likes it better this way.  This way, there are less, boundaries and more tasks tofulfill. 

            “Hi,”no one answers.  “Hi.  No one answers me, I feel so lonely,what do I do?  What is happening tome?  I need help,”  “Hi Ms. Marie!”  Now someone answers her, no one answersher, it is either because she talks to quiet, or she is just a plain flat outloser.  She thinks both because herattitude towards herself is poor.

            “Okclass, how is everyone?” Ms. Marie asks. 

            “Good,”the class says.

            “Takeout your notebooks and a pen, and start writing about how your day has been,”Ms. Marie asks the students.


Dear journal:

            Atschool my life is a bit odder than usual. I don’t have any friends and I feel crushed inside and all I can do issit and write.  I write down mythoughts and feelings.  Today I sawthis one kid, I said hi, but he did not answer and I felt very disturbed.  My guts were fumbling with my stomachand my mouth was dry.  Actually Ifelt like I was about to be sick. I did not like this feeling because it felt like I was placed nowhere inthis world.


            “I’mdone, Ms. Marie,” Lily says with a big smile on her face.

            “Okay,good Lily, nice work,” she says.

            “Ugh…thanks.  No one really has everthanked me in that way.  I feel sospecial,” Lily says. 

            Thisis the second time Lily knocks on the door.  No one is home. And there is no answer, so she hits the door, and knocks real hard.  It feels like her hand swelled up intopieces and her throat escalated a half step.  Her mom pulls up in the driveway right next to her and parksthe car.  She has a wide white Sedan.  Clover’s teeth are white and rigid andhang in a disorganized fashion, while she wears tight skimpy blue clothes andher pants are yellow, which stand out. 

            “Mom,mom, mom you won’t believe what happened at school today,” Lily runs into thehouse.

            “What,what?” her mom says in joy.

            “NOONE TALKED TO ME, except Ms. Marie, she’s nice,” Lily begins to stumble on herwords.

            “Well,I’m sorry,” Lily runs to her room, and starts crying.  “It’s okay sweetie, it’s fine, here, I’ll take you aroundthe block so you will feel better,” her mom says.

            “Oh,god mom, I never do anything right, I keep making mistakes, and no one talks tome, and I’m such in a big bind.  Igo between classes and no one talks. What do I do?” Lily yells.

            “Um…well I don’t know exactly, we’ll find you a nice friend to hang out with,that’ll settle a lot of your problems,” her mom adds.

            “Okay,mom,” she stops crying.

            Schoolstarts at 9:15.  “Mom, I’m readyfor school.  She takes me to schoolin her white Sedan and we ride while listening to the band The Beatles.  Her car goes fast so Lily has to fastenher seat belt extra tight so it does not flap around.  We pull up to the fence of the school; Lily picks up her bagfrom the front seat and carries it over her right shoulder.  She walks to the door, and steps intoher English class.

            “Ms.Marie!  How are you?” she doesn’trespond.  “How are you?  Speak to me, please, please, answer menow!” Lily jerks her head over to her seat and snarls loudly.  Her teeth grind and her chest pokes out.

            “Lily,stop talking she doesn’t like you, Ms. Marie only likes me!” a classmate shoutsout.

            “No,she doesn’t and she said hi to me yesterday,” Lily barks back.

            “Thatwas because she was being nice, usually she never says hi,” the classmate says.

            “Hi,Lily,” a girl says from a far.

            “Oh,hi, what’s your name?” Lily asks.

            “Cadence,”she says.

            “Whatgrade are you in?” Lily looks into Cadence’s eyes.

            “Yourare in 11th grade right?” she asks.

            “Yes,”Lily smiles.

            “Oh,that’s nice, do you want to sit next to me?” Cadence asks in excitement.

            “Sure,”she sits next to Cadence.

            “Okayclass, take out your notebooks,” this time Ms. Marie doesn’t glance at me, butCadence really cares, she’s great.

            “Lily,what do you like to do?” Cadence asks.

            “Ilove to write,” Lily folds her mouth inward and smiles.

            “Andyou?” Cadence says.

            “Talkto you,” Cadence smiles as well.

            “You’remy first friend,” Lily’s face lit up like Rudolf.

            “Oh,I’m so happy!  That’s so sweet ofyou to say,” Lily says.

            “Well,you deserve it, and I’m sorry you are having so much trouble.  I remember when I had trouble withpeople at school, when I was younger,” Cadence helps Lily out.

            “Yeahit’s been hard, and it’s happened for a year now,” Lily and Cadence getsituated in their chairs while listening to the teacher.

            “Okayclass, it’s time to go home now,” The two pick up their bags and carry it ontheir left shoulder.

            “Doyou want to eat lunch with me?” Cadence moves to the lunch table and invitesLily to sit next to her.

            “Sure,”Lily has a hamburger topped with fresh sauce and Cadence has a sausagepizza.  The teacher says it is timeto go home.

            “Goodbye, Lily, hey, do you want to meet up someday at a coffee shop?” Cadence asks.

            “Yeah,sure, that’d be great,” Lily jumps in joy.

            “Okay,here’s my number,” they exchange numbers. There is a knock on the door, her mother this time, opens the key to thedoor. 

            “Mom,mom guess what? I met this girl Cadence, she’s really nice,” Lily jumps intothe house.

            “Oh,sweetie that’s so great, I’m so happy,” her mom, says.

            “Yeah,yeah and she gave me her number too. Can you call her mother?” Lily says, while her speech is very rapid.

            “Yes,”the phone dials up the number and rings for five seconds.  “Hi, Cadence?  I’m Lily’s mother, and she said that you wanted to hang outwith her,” she says on the hard-line.

            “Yes,yes, I do,” Cadence, says.

            “Whattime, yeah, okay good!” She hangs up the phone and faces Lily.  “3:00 Tuesday,” her mom says.

            “Thankyou mommy!”  Lily is so relievedthat she has a friend. 

            Itis Tuesday, and it is the day Cadence comes over.  We play around and jump on Lily’s trampoline.  Lily and Candace have a great timehanging out with each other. 

            “You’rea great friend,” Candace says.

            “Thanks,”Lily exchanges looks with Cadence, both having a white teethed smile.

            “Yourwelcome,” Cadence smiles at Lily. Candace goes back home and they call it a day.  The sun rises the next day and Lily writes about herexperience:

My Journal:



Thank you forbeing a good friend you taught me how to be a friend and have fun and that isall that matters. You are a delight to have around as a friend.  Thank you once again,


jedieh04   jedieh04 wrote
on 3/15/2009 9:34:51 PM
what kind of clean up? be specific please.

kt6550   kt6550 wrote
on 3/15/2009 7:49:28 PM
Good idea working on a sensitive issue. Story needs a bit of a cleanup. But otherwise, not bad.


writing jedieh04
-get used to it.
Bookmark and Share

You must log in to rate.
Rating: 8.0/10

© 2014 WritingRoom.com, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED