I Can't Be Myself

Does it bother you
that there is no justice?
People aren't weighing the facts.
They bargain, trade, and negotiate.
You have to keep up and participate
or the quislings will outdo you.
Purposes, ideologies, and motivations are there.
I can't be myself.
Life: I search all my drawers for the right combination.
I lost my identity years ago.
The corpse I planted never sprouted.
It never will.
I am working for a purpose.
That's honest enough.
Ha Ha Ha.
Watch me get from point A to point B.
Whatever works. 
Zoom on by.
I've not had reason to cry.
Because all that is helpful
is playing the role.
I can't be myself.
This crazy game wasn't set that way.
Others reflect what they want to reflect.
I'm happy as an automaton
dancing through each day,
making the right conversation.
Yeah, I don't much care if it comes out right.
We've collectively lost caring a time ago.
I'm not guilty.  Don't blame me.
I promise in wishful thinking
to be myself.
Life, however, compels me in other directions.
My words spoken are very meaningful.
We bargain, trade, and negotiate with reality.
I want to see the real person--
in you and me.
I act and act.
Not knowing if truth is found in my role
or in what I overlook.
I can't be myself.
This self I cannot be is done by another.
The mystery of what I didn't become haunts me.




Comments:
 
WAN   WAN wrote
on 6/17/2009 9:04:23 PM
Very intelligent write. So practical I should say... He cannot be himself for he let the earthly nature eat his soul thesame as the others. In the end, his conscience attacked him....I love this poem:)

frederic
Poetry
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Synopsis
Certain lines from "The Waste Land" have haunted me. So, I was inspired to write this.
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