She laid there on her side. Her messy dark hair covered her back and faded into her black loose fitting T-shirt. She’s barely moved I don’t think she can. Her only sign of life is the slight movement her chest makes when she breathes in and out. She’s been this way for days, maybe weeks. I’ve lost track of the time.

I haven’t heard her voice in so long. If only she could talk to me. If only I could take the pain away. I stood there watching helplessly. She’s gone I don’t know how to bring her back. I don’t even know if she wants to come back. I can’t do anything, that I knew. It was up to her. She had to fight or maybe it was like the other times and will go away on its own. Her life rises and falls it’s a cycle I don’t think will ever end. But if I could see her smile again. I would wait for an eternity. I would always be there waiting when she came back. Waiting for the day when I can hold her in my arms and hear her sweet voice. Waiting for that day when she lives again and I can share my life with her.

The bills are paid. The kids are taken care of, though they missed their mother. She didn’t want them to come into the room to see her like this. She wants only happy memories for their childhood. I did the best I could. I held everything together while she fell apart. At the end of the day when homework was finished and I successfully kept our world together for one more day I would go into our bedroom and watch her just like this. I got into the bed, trying not to disturb her. I kept my distance. I laid on my side, my head resting on my arm. I didn’t touch her hair or said a word. During the day I was alive I did everything that was needed of me but now, this was when I died. This was when I crawled into her grave, because if you take her life you have to take mine too.