GRAY IS NOT A SYNONYM FOR STUPID

GRAY IS NOT A SYNONYM FOR STUPID



My hair turned gray several years ago.  I had observed friends my age quickly begin to dye their hair.  I wanted none of that.  It was my decision that my hair color would be whatever color God wanted it to be.  Gradually and gracefully (I think), my hair went from brown to gray.



As I turned gray-headed, I began to notice something.  Apparently, gray hair makes you stupid…



I first noticed it when I went into a ladies washroom in the state building where I worked.  There were two young women standing by the sinks and they were talking about an intimate encounter one had with a date.  Well, when my hair was brown and I was smart, people would stop talking about their personal business when I walked into a bathroom.  My general assumption was that they returned to their topic once I left the room.  In those days, I could pee in quiet…



Well, I walked into the bathroom with gray hair and these two young ladies were talking about an experience one had with a man.  As I walked in, I received “the glance”…  Once they saw me, they resumed their graphic conversation.  I draw from this that the consensus of young folk is that women with gray hair:

a.   Are stupid

b.   Are blind

c.    Are deaf

d.   Are invisible

e.   Have never had sex

f.     Have forgotten if they did

g.   Are invisible

h.   AFTER THOUGHT… and delusional



At first, I just thought that young people simply thought that gray hair made people stupid, but as time went on and my hair got even grayer, I realized that, not only am I stupid, but, apparently, I am also a blind, deaf, invisible virgin.  Now, I must tell you that being invisible is a lot of fun.  I hear conversations that I am too stupid to understand.  And, I am invisible, so I can laugh out loud and they just smile at me.  Oh my….I just realized that they also think I am delusional.  I must add it to my list…after thought above.  LOL



This has been fodder for much amusement for me.  I hear conversations that it is assumed that I don’t understand.  On top of that, I think I am invisible….  I think ~ therefore I am…  Heh…  Just amusing myself for a second…LOL…  But I digress…  Just smile…I am gray headed…..



Of course, all of their conversation is not about sex.  Sometimes it is about drugs, cheating men, slutty women, etc.  Yes…I am still amused.  Then I amuse myself by thinking of things I would love to say to these youngsters… 



Like:



Well, that gives you munchies, but have you tried….

I was “doing” your grandpa when I was your age…

Snow on the roof makes the furnace hotter….

I remember when I did that…hmmm….it was 1965…The Beatles were popular…back seat of a Chevy Bel Air…

LOL…are they doing that again?  I thought the rage passed by the ‘70’s…

Apparently you don’t know that I passed my hearing test with flying colors…

You did that???  LOL…that is soooo ‘80’s…

When my husband did that, I…..

Let me tell you what I did to the slut who tried to take my husband…



This gray hair does not make me stupid…  But, it does provide me with a lot of amusement…. 



A word to you young folks…LOL…I am not deaf, blind, invisible or stupid……..  And…uhhh….thanks for the laughs!



(DISCLAIMER:  Only the part about gray hair and the assumption that I am stupid, blind, deaf and invisible is true.  The rest is FICTION…)


Comments:
 
StarPoet   StarPoet wrote
on 9/24/2009 2:30:11 AM
Wayyy cool and so true. From one greying hair to another. . . thanks for sticking up for us! You remind me of something Richard Pryor once said on his "Mudbone" comedy routine from the 70's. "You don't get old being no fool. Lotta young wise men (or women) deader than a m***********".

Michele   Michele wrote
on 9/24/2009 12:03:53 AM
From another invisible gray head: Amen!

Rob5679   Rob5679 wrote
on 9/23/2009 4:26:33 PM
A chuckle fest. I realy enjoyed it. My hair is beginning to turn blonde (my wife says it's grey).

dmcorl
Short Story
Comedy
writing dmcorl
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Rating: 9.0/10

Published Date
7/13/2009 12:00:00 AM
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