Gulls At The Brink of “Lands End” | Poetry

RETURN HOME

JOIN NOW - IT'S FREE LOGIN | HELP|CONTACT| BLOG| ABOUT

My Room

Members

Writings

Activities

Groups

Writing How To

Experts

Authors

Videos

Recently Viewed: Gulls At The Brink of “Lands End”

Gulls At The Brink of “Lands End”

Gulls At The Brink of “Lands End”

Traces in tactile blue

The simple slide

Sky

“And I

Thrown past thought

Beyond import

Side by side impromptu”

Slide

Catch it

Catch that wing

Reverse revolving

Simple slide

On a vista where I cannot breathe I must breathe hold that moment catch the wing everything is falling

And

Formulation to the dusted

Speckles of light

Dances with water

Marching now

Marching with the clouds

Pomp and fluff of rain

I could fall a thousand miles

On this wing

I could fall forever

Slide

Simple slide

Perfect monument wheels heady

Soaring slip beneath

Floated

In the mouths of rocky crags

Waves suck and draw booming

Crashing

Slide

Simplicity breathing

Air winded compulsion forming

I have become the nurturing of salt

Formed from eggs

Acrobat traversing the edge of spray

And written my psalm

Ovation my call

To the voice of the sea

I slide

Traces in tactile blue

The Simple slide

Sky

I am about the feathers of the cliff

Comments:

		frederic wrote on 5/20/2009 7:29:16 PM
		No, "I am about the feathers of the cliff" doesn't end it right. First of all, "feathers" doesn't make sense there as synechdoche. The personification technique of the poem is very apt. So, what feathers does the cliff have? Now, you could change the "I am about" to "It is about." referring to the psalm. That would be a passable ending, for you end with the accomplishment of a psalm. Find another prominence to give to the cliff. For example, since it is a painful flight for the gull, I would end the poem with "It is about the solace of the cliff!" Just the thing a psalm would offer. Good work.