preparing to vent
Preparing to vent= fan in window- open window slightly (Not too much cause it's coooold outside- grab my cigarettes- pour juice in a cup- plug the laptop in to the charger (Because the battery is ruined and has to stay on charger during usage) Turn computer on, prop myself up Indian style.. and write. :) Good morning- Morning wasn't so good at first. I guess the mixture of hormones, stress and lack of sleep has caused my nerves to rattle. My husband woke me to get the crying baby at 7am. I felt like my old school girl self- with the morning time blues. Whatever. I guess I just see things a little differently than he does. Because I've been staying up all night with the baby so he can sleep- I haven't been getting much sleep at all... more like little naps throughout the day- basically whenever I get the chance- which isn't too often. Between babies needs, my sons needs, house cleaning and running errands- naps are hard to come by. Especially when I'd rather have a few hours to myself at night when the house is quiet.. I like writing or working on scrap books during that time- "ME TIME" is what I call it.. Maybe I've set my expectations too high. I don't know. Anyways- the morning got better. I got my crying out- (I'm bundled with stress as usual) Then as we were lying in bed.. (baby, dog and son) The dog leaned over and put her head over the babies shoulder. It was adorable. So, I started taking pictures. I got a few good ones- and one with all three of them that's precious! It's my new facebook wall cover :) And soon we'll be off to shopping. Just me and my four year old this time-- I should probably shower first. I'm looking like a bum with PJs, a penguin bath robe and flat hair. The baby is almost ten days old!! Time goes so fast. It doesn't seem like it's been over a week already since delivery. Things are going good here- for the most part. I've been trying to stay focused on house cleaning... it's a never-ending job so I stay pretty busy. And I've had a lot of running around to do as well. I've half assed the dieting so far- I need to buckle down- easier said than done. I think I'm doing okay. I'm not starving myself- just not eating salads and fruits as much as I should. I just hate the waiting game. I'm too impatient for my own good!! And I'm not completely healed yet- so I can't go to the gym. I want to be skinny now- I want long hair now- not next year. It gets depressing for me. It might be a good idea to see a shrink as well. I've been thinking about it. Go vent to someone other than friends or family. Because I haven't been venting to anyone at all.. just bottling everything up. And it seems okay from the surface- but underneath it all, it could potentially be bad. And I don't need anymore bad in my life. I'm ready for this fresh start. It's a new year- and I want NEW> I'm in need for new- and GOOD!! :) Well- 9am has rolled around. I'm getting hungry- forgot to eat dinner last night. I need to get up and motivated. It's a rainy dreary day- gotta find some sunshine.

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writing candyland87
Life wouldn't be anything without risk taking...

Just a girl
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