The Changing of Dreams

 Dreaming is such a part of who we are, and nearly everyone dreams or has dreams/desires for the future. We may dream at night while we are sleeping, so often having no control over those dreams, but still they enter our subconscious security, sometimes leaving no peace behind, and often leaving us with questions to be answered. That is if upon awakening we are lucky enough to be able to remember the context of those dreams.

With those sleeping dreams we are so often left with a lingering sense of “the need to remember the dream” as it so quickly seems to fade away. We try to reach out and grasp that quickly fading memory, but it just seems to dissolve, often leaving behind a sense of loneliness, despair or a sense of loss for something that we should have been able to remember. Sometimes we are lucky enough to remember the whole dream or even just pieces of that dream, and yet it can still leaves us with unanswered questions about what the dream truly means. Do we then seek answers, or do we just let those dreams be a outlet for our emotions, just accepting dreams as dreams, requiring no answers.

Sleep dreaming can often mean something different for each individual, sometimes bringing a sense of pleasure, sometimes a sense of dread or turmoil and sometimes even a sense of confusion, wondering what was going on in our lives to bring those dreams to our subconscious world. Then there are times where we may gain a sense of peace from a dream, because in some profound way, it may have given us subconscious answers to thoughts and events that we had encountered in our life. Often dreams may raise more questions, for which we then seek to find answers. Dreams from the subconscious for the conscious mind.

Then there are the dreams that we call “day dreams”. Those hopes, desires, wishes and needs that we all have in our lives. Those dreams are often the hopes for the future that keep us going, or give us some measure of strength to get through each day. Sometimes it’s not just about reality, as often our day dreams are based on our imagination or a desire to have something or someone in our lives that makes us feel intense happiness and life satisfaction, based on our own perception of those emotions. I personally believe that if we can create realistic dreams in our minds, then we have the ability to create that dream in our lives. We can create that which we dream/think about, as we create our daily moments in life based on reality, not just our imagination.  

Nearly all of us have experienced those “dream not coming true as expected” moments, when we discover that what we had dreamt about happening, does/did in fact not happen exactly as planned. The beginning may have happened as we dreamt it would be, but somehow, somewhere along the way, the sometimes harsh realities of life come in and we are forced to accept the fact that not all dreams will develop the way we wanted them to.  

This sometimes overwhelming impact of reality can often feel like it is going to crush us, leaving us feeling vulnerable, and scared, and often wondering where we go from this point onwards. Do we let go of the whole dream, because a part of it has not gone as we had planned/wanted it to go, or do we look at the reasons and the truth of the reality, and then base our future decision on what we feel or know that we can deal with in our lives. 

Each of us must make our own personal decision about the continuing direction of our dreams based on what we know we can emotionally and sometimes financially handle. Reality has a habit of throwing things our way, that test not only our commitment to our dreams, but also our commitment to others that may be a part of those dreams. We must however realise that we can only make decisions for ourselves and not for others. Each of us must think things through clearly, often by having to try and put intense emotion aside, so that we can base our decision upon the reality of the situation and not on the often seemingly endless tide of emotions that may threaten to overwhelm all concerned during this time. 

That first moment of impact, when you realise that your dream has been partly or wholly shattered, is most usually not the time to make dream/life changing decisions. It’s during this particular time most irrational decisions are first made and these decisions are more often that not, based purely on the emotion that has been generated by the circumstances in which you now find yourself. 

During this very intense time you need to try and take a step backwards, allowing yourself to feel the often erratic emotions that have suddenly swamped what may seem to be your very existence, and yet still try to remember that this moment in time, does not necessarily mean an ending  to all of your dreams. It may just mean that this particular dream has to be put on hold for awhile, or a new direction found that enables you to once again achieve the final results of your long held dream . 

 Most often when we do take that step back and allow ourselves to feel the pain that may be impacting upon us both mentally and physically, we are eventually able to find a sense of inner peace at which time we are more able to look at the situation with a sense of realism.

There can be a sense of peace whilst making these decisions, even though we should understand that the decisions made during this time will probably NOT be our final and ultimate decision. This is due to the fact that whilst we may have been able to step back from much of the intense emotion, we are still very vulnerable and open to making decisions based on our emotions and not on the true practicality of our immediate situation. 

Emotional pain (sometimes even physical pain), fear and disillusionment are often the forerunning emotions that surround us at this time, sometimes making us feel as if we are no longer in control of the situation in which we have now found ourselves. In truth, for the most part we are still able to be in control of our overall ability to make rational and realistic choices. It’s here where we realise that dreams can be changed according to the circumstances in which we find ourselves at any given time in our lives. 

The reality of life is that sometimes the dreams we try to create in our lives are just not meant to develop exactly the way we had originally dreamt them to be. At other times dreams can happen exactly as we had planned them, leaving us with that well known saying “Dreams can come true”.  

The ability to dream in all formats, is what makes us unique individuals, and so often, those dreams give us hope for the future. Dreams and Hope. These are things we all need in our lives and they are things that we so often discover that we have no real control over. Mind over matter, because our mind allows us to dream our dreams and create our reality.

Denise Mangano  © 4 May 2008  Written while in Denver Colorado