The Automata Bots In Our Local Stores

I am sure that each of us have experienced these at one time or another while shopping your local stores. They are usually all dressed the same way, some have little buttons or slogans written on their vest that say "How can I help you?" Those are usually put there to remind them what to say. Occasionally they are semi-intelligent, other times not so much, mostly the only way they can help you is if they get out of your way and leave you alone.

One of my favorite things to do on a boring day is to dress in the worst outfit I can find and visit expensive stores. It really is entertaining to see how many of these bots you can make follow you because they are convinced your going to shoplift. It is horribly delightful to start handling things and have them appear out of no where to ask if they can help you find something. No thank you just browsing. My oldest son accompanies on most of my outings and has decided that I am just evil, but we all have to entertain ourselves someway.

Ah, but I have gotten off my topic for today I went shopping for a purpose and found myself in the company of a truly brainless bot. Earlier this week I had been in this store and passed a display with gifts for Mother's Day. I had eyed a little ditty that I thought might be nice but did not have the appropriate funds at the time. I decided that today I would return to purchase it. On my arrival I discovered that the display had been moved, and so while looking for other items I searched a few places I thought it might be. Failing at my quest I decided to do the unthinkable, ask a bot.

The first bot I came across was a tall thin young whip whose very being shouted "I'm too cool for my shorts!" I expounded my entire quest to him with a detailed description of the item of my quest. He stared at me dumbfounded for a moment and said "This isn't my department." and sauntered off in his "I'm too cool for my shorts" walk. Okay, let's try that again.

Of course my first question to the next bot was ... you guessed it ... is this your department. Upon establishing that it was, I again explained in detail the item of my quest. This bot was a stocky fellow with glasses that continually slid down his nose, but hey he started moving with a promising "Let's see." We traveled up and down a number of aisle as my mind kept thinking I could do this without you, in fact I did. Several aisle later he takes me to a semi in charge bot and explains his failure at finding my quest item. She is at a register, and having no customers ready in the checkout lane, turns off her light and takes over the search for him.

Now this bot seemed to be a perky little lady, smartly dressed and sounding like she knew just what to do. And here we learn to never judge a book by its cover, you'll often find yourself wrong. So, for the next ten minutes I traveled about the store behind this lovely bot that obviously should lay off the lattes. When she had exhausted all her resources she shrugged and claimed they must have all sold out.

I thanked her for her time and she said if I was done shopping she could take me at her register. Now, here is the kicker, the point when I realized that looking intelligent dose not necessarily infer intelligence. I grab my cart and arrive at her register only moments after she dose. She smiles at me brightly and says "Did you find everything you were looking for today?" I stopped looked at her and the words came before I could stop them. "You've got to be kidding me, right?"

StarPoet   StarPoet wrote
on 5/31/2008 1:53:39 AM
Funny. I enjoyed this with a smile. I can relate to your frustrations so much.

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writing amberfire
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Rating: 9.3/10

The joys of friendly store employees.