waking up miserable.

I fell asleep thinking about you last night,

in my dreams holding you tight,

the feeling oh so right,

as i woke up i was sad to find,

that in my dreams, i left you behind,

i'd give the whole world to have you to hold,

and never ever let go, even when were dead and cold,

you are the brightest star, the only thing that makes sense,

you are the reparing of my scars, my source of confidence,

never would i hurt you, never could i try,

and i could never stop loving you, the apple of my eye,

when i see you, i see the beauty spoke by so many,

but none of their words could have ever made me ready,

to embrace someone who could steal my breath,

give my every heartbeat until i had none left,

with your hand in mine, i feel so at home,

and i'll die to make this last forever, so you will never be alone.

penname   penname wrote
on 2/10/2009 9:38:19 PM
aaa, bb, aa, bb, aa, C, D, aa, bb , note the rhyme pattern...I'm an advocate of no rhyme though I use it often, it just comes naturally and sometimes can give the poem balance....this pattern is slightly off balance. For me it rushes the poem too much. I want to savor each line. I love the theme, and your style. Content wonderful...just work some on the flow. I'm beginning to really enjoy your poetry. It has a new feel to it and packs punch in reality. Really good writing.

Free Verse
writing TySyndicate
It is only with the heart that one see's rightly; What's essential is invisible to the eye.
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