Twilight Book Review

It was my fault; I can’t blame anyone else, no-one asked me to do it. I knew what was coming, I can’t claim ignorance. I couldn’t stop myself – I read Twilight.

Synopsis

Twilight: Isabella Swan, or Bella, moves to Forks, as a self-sacrificing martyr for her mother. She then instantly falls in love with someone who seems rather fickle in his affections. It transpires that Edward is a vampire and incredibly dangerous. Although he keeps himself from drinking human blood, he chivalrously tries to keep her away in order to avoid any ‘accidents’. After the couple succumbs to their irrevocable love, a true vampire decides that he likes her smell.  Edward acts possessively which causes the evil vampire to accept the challenge to hunt our remarkable heroine. In a life or death battle, Edward valiantly saves both her life and her mortality. Bella insists she would give up the latter if it secures Edward. He refuses for the sake of their souls.

New Moon: Edward leaves Bella because he feels that it is best, she falls into dissolution and befriends a werewolf – an eternal enemy of the vampires. There is a misunderstanding, which causes Edward to believe Bella dead. He sets off to commit suicide by breaking laws set in place by a family of dictators which rule over the vampire world. Bella saves him in the nick of time.

Eclipse: The lover of the vampire who was killed in the first book decides she wants revenge. She raises a whole army of vicious new-born vampires to get to Bella and the Cullens. A liaison with the werewolves saves the day, and good triumphs over evil.

Breaking dawn:  Bella and Edward get married (about time), she becomes pregnant and consequently almost dies in birthing a vampire-human cross-breed. She is saved at the last minute by [finally] transfiguring into a vampire. The aforementioned autocratic vampires tire of the Cullens’ insubordinate behavior and come to force them into servitude. The Cullens assemble a few vampires in order to fight them off and after an epic battle, Bella saves the day by protecting them all from the dangerous opposing super powers with her own newly acquired special abilities.

Characters

     Stephenie Meyer constantly attempts to make her characters suitably flawed, at which she fails miserably. Her characters are flat and stagnant. She almost totally fails to develop the personalities of minor characters. Because of this, one automatically refers to the stereotype, causing the scene to appear generic. Even the main characters suffer acutely from stereotyping and clichés. When she does create a character, she does this mostly through direct speech and conversation, rather than actual actions. This usually leads to contradictions.

     In focusing on Bella, the areas where Meyer has tried to flaw her are obvious and repetitive. There were, of course, the unintentional weaknesses; Bella’s self-esteem issues, her weakness of character and her idealism. Her positives annoy, as they are unrealistic and exaggerated. Of course, most of her charm comes from her utter unconsciousness of her inner and outer beauty and is so disgustingly modest.

     After Bella metamorphosed, it transpires that she had unparalleled self-control and inner strength, unlike any new-born before her. This is utterly contrary to the image I already had of a self-pitying, helpless, love-sick teenager.

Lastly, Bella uses strawberry flavored shampoo, which is just sad.

Style of writing

     I suppose it was the catchy and original lines like, “In that case…  I hope you enjoy disappointment,” that really show the high literary class of the series. It is almost as good as, “You can’t handle the truth.”

Bella is constantly referring to classics like Romeo and Juliet, Wuthering Heights and various Austens. Apart from my personal aversion to Romeo and Juliet, the constant comparisons and analogies between the two situations are silly and trite.

    What would the novels be without their perpetual melodrama and the regular interludes of mortal peril? Meyer writes as though she has just finished writing a high-school essay: over-descriptive, filled with pointless detail, scarcely furnished in the plot department and simply ridiculous all round. The sarcasm has to be pointed out.

It is phrases like, “I’ve waited for you for a century, I can wait a little longer,” that makes the Twilight Saga such a riveting piece of prose.

 

     But, beyond the bad plots, bad characters and bad writing and everything else which I couldn’t fit onto the page, the book has a curious effect on the small, squishy estrogen bits of the female psyche. The bits which have no taste whatsoever. The bits which crave sentimentality and romance and pink frills. Even when I’m in hysterics over paragraphs which are unintentionally hilarious, parts of me are still sighing over the perfect romance of it, wondering if somewhere out there, there is an Edward Cullen for me. This does lead to interesting internal arguments.

It was this attraction that made the saga a bestseller, this which caused millions of teenage females to write ‘Twilight’ on the backs of their hands. And, honestly, it was these sentiments over which I had no control which caused me to dislike the series the most.

 

 

The Twilight Saga - Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, by Stephenie Meyer

Set in the wet town of Forks, USA. Genre: Fantasy, Romance. Characters: Isabella Swan, Charlie Swan and other relatives, Edward Cullen, the other Cullens, assorted vampires, assorted werewolves from La Push, incl. Jacob Black. Various school friends.


2009, age 14.

 

 


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Sylvia
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Synopsis
This is the culled version, I no longer have the original. It was one page (reduced margins and font size 9, but 9 is still rather large). I did write in pen that it wasn't entirely unbaised by merely trying to seem otherwise.
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