holy moment
our collective limbs, combined, they suffocate the cushions,

eyes and tongues have tasted the marriage of leaf and water.

intricately interceding ingredients, silent,

foretelling our behavior when square one was found again.

Comments:
 
Starlingpoet   Starlingpoet wrote
on 7/14/2009 3:24:44 AM
I think you are very talented and I have enjoyed reading all of your poems. Great writing! I look forward to reading more.

Ve   Ve wrote
on 7/7/2009 5:07:45 AM
Well I liked it but I have to admit the cushion does sound out of place. Romantic, beautiful but on a professional level. Well done but because of the cushion I'll give a 9 I'll take a risk and sound like spoon but is it tree marrying water to leave with silent ingredients?

Writeright   Writeright wrote
on 7/7/2009 1:59:58 AM
Putting aside the meaning of the words, I think you have a great sense of rhythm, and wonderful use of alliteration here.

frederic   frederic wrote
on 7/6/2009 2:45:44 PM
I agree that All-knowing God is present in nature. Whose eyes (synesthesia) and whose tongues have tasted leaves? That's for birds and other animals, however. I'd re-write this. We have to figure out how the natural imagery relates to the cushions also. Good try.

Stephen M
Poetry
Free Verse
writing Stephen M
Doesn't write as much as he should.
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