Chuck Norris Facts Volume 3: Don't mess with Chuck!
1. Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
2. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
3. If you're stuck on a test and don't know the answer to a question, write in Chuck Norris. The answer is always Chuck Norris.
4. Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi-truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
5. Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't need a Twitter. He's already following you.
7. Chuck Norris doesn't make a splash when he jumps in the water. The water is just getting out of his way.
8. Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
9. Once, Chuck Norris explained sound to a deaf person.
10. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
11. Chuck Norris doesn't wear jewelry. Jewelry wears Chuck Norris.
12. It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
13. Chuck Norris can jump in the air and stay there.
14. Goku did acheive a level beyond Super Saiyan 4. It's known as going "Chuck Norris".
15. Never mess with Chuck Norris when he's dreaming. His dreams will roundhouse kick you too.
16. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
17. Chuck Norris can get a tactical nuke with one bullet in CoD.
18. Chuck Norris is the reason the Illuminati was formed.
19. Chuck Norris' recessive genes dominate over everyone else's.
20. The catalyst for "Project Genesis" was actually a beard hair from Chuck Norris.
21. Chuck Norris once donated blood to a man. He's known as Superman.
22. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you're just moments away from death.
23. 2> 1...unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
24. Phonics are hooked on Chuck Norris.
25. Charlie Sheen is WINNING. Chuck Norris already won.
26. Neo is the one. The one after Chuck Norris.
27. Fire stops, drops, and rolls when it catches Chuck Norris.
28. Superlatives are actually aliens that are planet because of Chuck Norris. Before that, mankind has never even heard of them.
29. Chuck Norris won the Iron Chef contest by microwaving Hot Pockets.
30. What's Chuck Norris' favorite number? CHUCK NORRIS.
31. Chuck Norris can't play on Wheel of Fortune. His spins would never end.
32. The word "Violence" was created to summarize a day in the life of Chuck Norris.
33. In a rain storm, Chuck Norris stays dry. Rain drops are too scared to hit him.
34. Jalapenos think Chuck Norris is hot.
35. Chuck Norris' shadow can be seen in total darkness.
36. The Great Flood really happened. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a wave.
37. Chuck Norris can turn on Clapper lights by flexing.
38. Chuck Norris is going to start World War 3.
39. Chuck Norris spends 30 seconds to count the stars everyday...after his lunch.
40. Rabies have to get Chuck Norris shots.
41. Godzilla was Chuck Norris' pet fish.
42. Great White Sharks are "white" for a reason. They met Chuck Norris.
43. Chuck Norris clapped with one hand. And heard it too.
44. Chuck Norris once had an older brother who tried to play the "why-are-you-hitting-youself" game. This is why he is referred to in the past tense.
45. Every time Chuck Norris does a roundhouse kick, he opens a gateway to another dimension.
46. They say "behind every great man there is a woman." Behind Chuck Norris there is Chuck Norris.
47. Chuck Norris can make tears cry.
48. Chuck Norris once ate a banana by looking at it.
49. Chuck Norris can find the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.
50. Chuck Norris' blood type is B+, as in "Be positive you will be killed by Chuck Norris.
51. Chuck Norris set Johnny Storm on fire.
52. When Chuck Norris was born, he came out swinging on the umbilical cord, kicked his dad in the face and said "I'm the boss now."
53. Superman changed his name to Wonder Woman after spending time in prison with Chuck Norris.
54. See? It is too late for Chuck Norris to stop me from typing this se

Comments:
 
LBlack406   LBlack406 wrote
on 10/16/2010 10:39:24 AM
I LOVE this. I am an in-the-closet Chuck Noris mega fan.

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The next batch of Chuck Norris facts is here!
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