Her name was Windy Wuuf Wuuf; she loved eggs, beans and rice
Yet mother called her honey ‘cause she was her mother’s spice
And as a little baby girl when things seemed too intense
She would wiggle and a giggle as her flatus would commence

As Windy grew her parents knew those habits she should crush
She’d smile and grin and wiggled in and giddied loosed a gush
Although she thought it natural to loose her daily stress
Her parents moaned in baritone... "No gas would she repress"

In concert hall while watching play with many others ‘round
She shifted cheek with smooth technique and loosed one without sound
In utter joy she muttered “Oye..., my stress has melted way”
Her thunder rolled the winds I’m told -  she grinned and yelped “hooray!”

She thought that she had done it smooth and no one knew the wise
But people sitting close to her were pained and quite surprised
Unlucky few that sat too close could hardly stand the smell
Some up and simply walked away... not feeling all to well

This made her feel self conscious and tensed her all the more
Attention gained through public shame ain’t what she’d bargained for
‘Sit still I will...  I’ll play it cool...,  look ‘round and act surprised...
Should someone think or say it’s me,  I’ll tell them pretty lies'

The sweat began to trickle down the center of her back
She felt the weight of other’s thoughts just like a heart attack
As heat and sighs began to rise, she let another loose
From pressure pain none could contain - she laid the other goose

This time she didn’t mean it...; she smiled nor grinned this time
But wiggled so intensely ‘cause they’d know who’d done the crime
How could she cover this one...  to make it go away
Twice in the space revealed her trace - this wasn’t Wendy’s day

This had a chain reaction; folks stared and leaped to run
But Windy sat so stoic as the exodus begun
She did not move a muscle; she never raised her head
She did not look around the place, but bunkered down instead

She could not stem the murmur,  but that was no surprise
She noticed people seething from the corner of her eyes
Ashamed and quite embarrassed... she fought the rising heat
The massive stress she could repress soon gave her sweaty feet

She truly felt uneasy and cold became her sweat
The weight of those accusing eyes soon made her back drip wet
This put her in a tizzy and with that made her shake
Unknown to those still left behind... her bowels began to quake

She squeezed her cheeks so tightly and eased her head way back
She tensed her neck and shoulders with her eyes rolled seeing black
Her mouth again wide open; her hands had gripped her chair
She raised her knees sufficient ‘cause she could not stem the air

Her pressure rose intensely..., she belched a gnasty strong
The echo from those clapping walls shall be remembered long
Her mouth now hung wide open;  her head now leaned way right
She shrieked with satisfaction as she shivered shame’s delight

Her mouth did now she cover;  her eyes rolled to the front
She sat up straight and told herself...  "That’s not what people want"
Some thought they smelled old sulfur; some thought it was bad cheese
Most sniffed the air with caution as to not breadth some disease

And though she thought it natural, the deed brought shame and doubt
She never dreamed she’d be the kind that people singled out
There was a massive stampede..., some fell and hit the floor
Some trampled over others in a rush to storm the door

So Windy simply sat there -  cold sweat and quivered ‘lone
Relaxed and mildly trembled like she passed some great gallstone
She now felt so much lighter from the force of the release
That she eased into a shiver..., half smiled and held her peace

Though she use to be so fearful,  she quickly glanced around
She did not see a single soul in all the place she found
Her skirt now slightly musty..., her back now dripping wet
But oh! the satisfaction was not something she’ll forget

On slowly eased her waist coat...,  and slip through the side door
She’d tiptoe out without a doubt, ‘cause they could take no more
Though she was no more seated within those hallowed halls
The legend of the Windy Wuff still lingers in the walls

And though she thought it natural to eat eggs, beans and rice
She mixed them up that supper with two heaping spoons of spice

© 2007     NDL II