When I Looked Into Your Eyes...

I  knew that at ‘that moment’ when I looked into your eyes
You were my heart's true destine - which came as some surprise
So as I sat there waiting and I gazed upon your face
I felt so wholly settled 'cause I'd found our meeting place

I was completely nervous...; you seemed completely cool
I did not want for you to know how much I felt your fool
I tried to seem indifferent - our eyes did not connect
My heart was pounding faster as I felt your sweet effect

The pounding of my heartbeat so choked my every word
I could not even speak the sound my mind had once captured
I had to tell you something - not let you walk away
That moment was life's calling as I chose what I would say

My words lacked self assurance...; I looked into your eyes
And stuttered words that gave to me a 'Case of butterflies'
My mind in total chaos - my thoughts a scattered mess
I drew a blank and did not know the measure of love's stress

You looked at me with interest...; your words were milk to me
Your eyes were just like magic and your face like poetry
Now reeling from elation - my heart and soul succumbed
I bless the day, the Lord above, our love so full blossomed

 Copyright ©2008       NDL II


Comments:
 
Rhiannon   Rhiannon wrote
on 1/3/2010 1:43:12 AM
I loved it, because the eyes are the windows to the soul and I also know what it is like to be too scared to say anything a very beautiful piece of work

BlueIris   BlueIris wrote
on 10/7/2008 4:09:40 PM
Sweet and soulful.

zaidsong   zaidsong wrote
on 10/7/2008 5:33:48 AM
This is beautiful, D. I think you capture the experience fabulously - what one song writer wrote as: "Everything falls out of focus/helplessly hopeless/I knew right then and there/in that first second stare/it would be a while." You immortalize the "first seocond stare" poignantly. I kept finding myself saying, "Relax! Breathe... Just be! She's gonna love you! just bbbrrreeeaaatthhhheee...." ;~) Very nicely done.

G_Money   G_Money wrote
on 10/7/2008 12:35:29 AM
Great rhythm and flow. Nice work ;)

Moqui_Takoda   Moqui_Takoda wrote
on 9/26/2008 9:12:57 AM
the rhyme at third stanza, line two !!! slick side rhyme there, my friend. I had a girl friend once who had a face full of pimples and so none of the other guys wanted to have anything to do with her, but she was actually quite beautiful ... they were boys, though, and they judged potential for what they saw not for what it would become. Now she is even more beautiful than I had ever imagined. And those little boys, unfortunately for them, they grew up and now she plays them like morons to get even , but to me, she adores. And she is very rich. :) ... you see, the face of love and the heart combine in youthful nervousness at any age to lift the soul ... and to see truth where others only see bewilderment. The first time Georgia held my hand in the movies, I almost blew my coke all over the big, fat, stupid football player sitting in front of us ... that is why I learned how to fight, just in case ... weird, yes? **)

12
OneVoice
Poetry
Other
writing OneVoice
In search of a computer generated caricature artist. Good references and portfolio. Will ask to see work before hiring and can provide specifics when an agreement has been reached. Send an email if interested.
Bookmark and Share

You must log in to rate.
Rating: 9.2/10

Synopsis
A breath stolen by a glance...
© 2014 WritingRoom.com, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
WRITING | POETRY WRITING | CREATIVE WRITING | WRITE A BOOK | WRITING CONTESTS | WRITING TIPS