Rain

 

Droplets, dull meteors,

dash down our window

predicting dark grey

sky will stay.

 

But the sun emerges

and shooting stars

twinkle, a galaxy.


Comments:
 
StarPoet   StarPoet wrote
on 7/1/2009 2:47:24 AM
Simple and yet so everyday and ordinary. I like how you sum all those up into such a small poem. I think that takes some skill to do this and to do it right.

Mary   Mary wrote
on 6/29/2009 11:58:31 AM
By the way, this was published in the West Sussex Gazette last year also in The Moon the Waves and the Breeze. I appreciate the comment about 'dash' and would be interested to know if this is a problem of difference in US English or if people in the UK don't relate to it either.

Papak   Papak wrote
on 6/29/2009 9:46:03 AM
Beautful poems , vivid description and a poem that anyone could relate to. I had trouble with the word "dash" and wonder if there is not another more powerful word that could be used. Just a suggestion

WAN   WAN wrote
on 6/29/2009 6:49:31 AM
vividly discribed! wow! It made me think of a rain saying goodbye and the stars saying hi. great job!

Mary
Poetry
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