Granola Bars and the Washington Post (DRAFT)
 The sunlight wakes her up. With a sleepy grunt, she rolls over, eyes still closed, mouth open slightly as she half-awake considers the situation.

Its Monday morning, which means she would have to get up shortly. On the other side of the bedroom door, quiet rummaging could be heard. A door closes, the bathroom door. Soon she heard the shower start. Sighing to herself, lacking somewhat sleep, as always every night, she rolls over to place two bare feet on the ground. Stretching she stood up, the wide sleeves of her sleep shirt falling to her shoulders. She tugged absentmindedly at the pair of pajama bottoms that completed her sleep set and and grabbed  her heavy key set that hung from a heavy cloth necklace on one of her the posters of her bed.

"Yo, lets go!" A cool, feminine voice breezes past her and sleepily she frowns at the person addressing her. Black haired with generous hints of brown, her little sister breezes past with a chunky, clunky heavy bag, wearing the leggings and long sleeved shirt that were all the rage now. Her reference was meant for Helen to reach the car to drive her to school, an expectation that often went un-thanked.

In fact too often her little sister left many favors un-thanked. She just expected everyone to serve her. Her 4 AP'd, piano talented, busy, busy, lazy sister.

Helen walked calmly down the stairs and out the door to start her Jeep and wait for the madonna to come out.

(c) Katrina Gredona. THIS IS A DRAFT, AND IN ANY CASE NOBODY MAY COPY IT!!!




Comments:
 
DaniTNYC   DaniTNYC wrote
on 6/12/2008 8:23:51 AM
You've really drawn me in as a reader. I want to know what's next and more about the main characters. I like the idea of adding smells and touch it would really complete the picture.

StarPoet   StarPoet wrote
on 6/10/2008 11:29:58 PM
So far, nicely done. Looking for more soon.

penname   penname wrote
on 6/9/2008 5:26:04 PM
i love the storyline and concept. the title, chapter one, superb. it inspires me to to connect such disconnections... like trail mix and lawn chairs, or something like that. You have lots of great discriptive imagery. It would add to it if you perhaps gave some additional images other than sight...You know , like sounds, smells, feels(touch), etc. it may make for some readers a more panoramic in touch feel.

MarjeanTherese
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Synopsis
A start on what I envision to be a long short story, written in segments, about a long distance relationship ignited online. It is very much modelled on my life. This is the first segment. It is only a draft, however. (C) Katrina Gredona. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
A Word from the Writer
Please feel free to comment! Any suggestions to improve the writing, style, and grammar would be greatly appreciated!
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