The first tear that never was shed

The first drop of blood not shed

Feeling nothing, being numb

Not hearing what should sound like a drum

Realizing this will never change 

Perhaps some sort of twisted exchange

The first sleepless night

Knowing I can’t claim I’m alright

I’m different from everyone

I want darkness, not the sun

Craving things I shouldn’t be

First time asking if I’m the only one like me

First time being called a freak

First time thinking of a technique

One that will hide who I am 

Hiding this behind a scam

First time wishing I wasn’t me

But not knowing who I could be

First time running from the blood-red sun

First time wishing the day was done 

First time doing anything to hide

First time taking the faking in stride

First time faking a laugh

First time wondering about my other half

First time wondering why I just can’t care 

And why I can’t go anywhere

First time feeling bound

And never bothering to make a sound

First time finding I don’t mind

And that I don’t care if to this, everyone’s blind.