Little Dancer
The little dancer upon her stage
In the bustling airport terminal
Pink flower dress and white sweater blouse
White buckle shoes and a pair of blue eyes
Her long blonde hair floated freely in the air
Holding onto nothing, unchained from society.
She leaps and twirls
As businessmen walk by
Paying no attention to
This affection for life.
She did not care who was watching
Did not matter where she was
For she was happy to be in her spotlight
Happy to find her place.

Comments:
 
Starlingpoet   Starlingpoet wrote
on 8/25/2009 9:28:36 PM
Hi there I am just having a look at your poems and they are all really good. Lot's of different thoughts and subjects. The thing that you might want to look at in this poem is lines 3 and 4. In line three I think I wold drop the word blouse. In line 4 I would change white to silver because you already have the word white in the line above it. Hope these are the kinds of things you would like my opinion on, if not let me know what else you might be looking for. Thanks.

JumpsCurbs
Poetry
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writing JumpsCurbs
I want to hear everyone's comments, good and bad (but always constructive), on my poetry. Any and all advice is greatly appreciated! No need to sugar coat it.
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