Santa Helena: The Blessing of the Curse - Chapter 4

Santa Helena: the Blessing of the Curse

Chapter 4: Ghostbuckling

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Matthew Dollar's Account

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Around 10:00 in the morning—oh, by the way, when I give you the time, assume that the weather is fair, unless otherwise stated! Also, we kept Team Alpha's weapons: I kept the two double-bladed, deep pink lightsabers (well, I needed something I could handle!), Satoko kept the semi-automatic rifle, Monica--the two revolvers (not Inscriber/Engraver), and poor Simile was stuck with the pink retractable laser pole axe (he didn't have a choice; he didn't have full CIA membership yet...). The Team Alpha weapons were our secondary weapons, by the way...

So, ahem!—around 10:01 a.m., while we were eating breakfast cooked by Metaphor (just imagine four of your favorite dishes), I heard my yellow waterproof cell phone in my yellow-green-and-red, checkered jacket. I swallowed my food and answered, "Yellow?!?"

"Yes, it's me." At the sound of Lord Wyatt's concerned tone, my companions crowded around me.

"So, did you translate it?"

"Yes, only some parts of it; I need more time...I sent it to Monica's email address!"

"Metaphor, may I use your comp--" Monica couldn't even finish.

"Of course, Miss J-Walker!"

She logged into her Gmail account; there, she opened the attachment and read the readable DOCX format:

"One for darkness, one for light

One for love, one for the fight

One for hope, the other, dispair

What will these warriors find hidden there

But a warning to those who come in

To see true evil is to see within

But, at the end, a ray of light

For you will win and end the fight" –Nightingale

(This poem was expertly crafted by an online acquaintance named Meggen Olson!)

Satoko: "Dr. Wyatt, I'm not good at riddles--"

Wyatt: "You don't have to be; you see, I believe 'love,' 'hope,' 'despair,' 'the fight,' 'darkness,' and 'light' are referring to the haunted islands that mysteriously appeared around A.D. 2075. These six islands are supposed to have the six keys that are needed to open the gate of the French Hawaiian Bank!"

Me: "So, who's this Nightingale person? Is that his/her real name?"

Wyatt: "No, it was a codename given to her by the Steiner family, who hired her to make riddles to keep the secrets hidden--"

Sim: "How come I didn't know that?!"

Met(aphor): "I guess Dad died before he could tell us anything--"

Wyatt: "Who's there?"

Sim: "Oh, this is my brother Metaphor, and I'm Simile Steiner, a proud member of the CIA!"

Wyatt: "CI-what?????????????"

Satoko: "Never mind that, Lord Wyatt."

Wyatt: "OK, well, Mr. Steiner, you sound like an Englishman."

Sim: "I've heard that before, but I AM a descendant of Sigmund; I opended the doors of the Library--"

Met: "I object! 'Twas my key that did it!"

Sim: "That's true, but I have a key, too!"

Met: "'Twas a fake that Dad created just in case you gave it to the wrong hands!"

Wyatt: "OK, guys, I believe ya."

Me: "So, where's the nearest island to 'raid'?"

Wyatt: "There's an artificial flying island quite across from Corsica in the Atlantic; it's known as Radi Isle which has the Shining Cathedral!"

Monica: "Great! Let's get going!"

Wyatt: "There's something I need to warn you about: There's a shadowy ghost fleet that sails around the Mediterranean. The captain's sins were so bad that they kept his soul down here long after his body died, according to legend. Thus, he was known as 'Sinbad'!"

Me: "Well, thanks for your help, Lord Wyatt! See ya later!"

Wyatt: "Bye, good luck!"

Monica: "Metaphor, have you seen a Polynesian woman around here?"

Met: "Why yes, I think she went to the market place near the coast--" With that, we took off to the market place. Searching all the tents at the swap meet, we finally found the captain of the wooden junk, who gasped in horror, "Hhhhh! You again!? Why me? Have I sinned!?--"

Satoko then commanded, "In the name of the Central Intelegence Agency, we demand you to take us to Radi Isle!"

Sim: "But--but, I thought CIA stood for--"

Satoko: "Put a sock in it, Sim!"

The captain: "Radi Isle? Are you crazy? I heard nobody comes back from there alive, yeah?"

Monica: "Yeah, YOU won't if you don't take us there!"

The captain: "Do I get paid for this!?"

Satoko: "We'll think about it; just take us to that island!"

We finally understood why there was a catapult on the junk's deck; I guess she took her friends up there before...I asked the captain for her name, so we don't have to keep calling her "the Polynesian captain." She was reluctant to tell me and demanded some payment; after giving her five euros, she said her name was "Aukai," which was Hawaiian for seafarer. It was too coincidental for me to believe, but I accepted it; can't expect much truth from five euros, eh...? Our names were "confidential"; so, I gave her "fake" ones: Matty Mack, Monique, Simile, and Sakura.

Not long afterwards, we saw dark clouds coming our way; beneath the clouds were about ten large sailboats that cruised toward us quickly; we couldn't escape; this junk was too slow. The ten boats surrounded us, five on both sides.

"Hhhhh!" gasped Aukai, "It's Sinbad, 'the man who sinned so badly'!"

Unusually calm, I asked, "So, what did he do, and why is he after us???"

Aukai looked more embarrassed than frightened: "He cheated on the volcano goddess Pele with--with--my mother. Pele cursed his soul and made him wander the seas--forever! One way to undo this curse is to kill--me."

My companions looked at me as if they were to say, "Well, are we gonna let 'er die or what?"

"Is there any--uh, un-suicidal way to end this?" asked I. She took out a black sword-dildo from her jacket pocket: "According to legend, my mom used to use this on him during their 'quality time'; its touch will destroy him."

My CIA buddies and she told me in unison, "Mack Matty, you should use it to slay him; you're good with small weapons, like crafty folks, right?"

I protested, "Why can't Sat--I mean--Sakura or Monique do the 'honors'? Why me?!?"

The ships moved in closer, giving us a better look at Sinbad's soul: a tanned, brawny man with a black, sleeveless shirt, blue jeans, and a Quaker hat? He also had two, double-helix, yellow-and-orange lightsabers and a sly grin! I put that sword-dildo in my pocket before taking out my revolvers, and Aukai and my companions got out their guns, ready for action.

A whole host of humanoid/Kirby ghosts, werewolves/foxes/tigresses, and skeletons jumped onto our ship as we blew them away with our gun Arithmagics. I shot sixteen bullets in the air and did a descending hand gesture; the bullets exploded into multi-helix tornados of ghastly light that cleansed the deck of ghosts. Monique did a similar technique by Red Arithmagics to burn away some non-ghosts, but our foes kept coming at us like a stampede of fire ants! Spinning 1,080 degrees, I shot wildly at foes until they came so close that I had to evade an onslaught of punches, kicks, and Black Arithmagics as if I were some fifth-rate acrobat. I gunned down a werewolf and got a big gash on my back and rolled forward by the impact; before I used Blue Arithmagics (to save spirit energy, you should try to heal several wounds with one spell), I back-flipped over the one who cut, printing revolver photons at the whorish werefox's head while in mid-air and doing a funnel-kick against a nearby weretigress. Once on my feet, I dived forward while blasting away more fiends in my way before I cart-wheeled away from a weretigress' massive axe-swing. After much shooting, we ran low on gun battery-power and took out our melee weapons; Simile swung that cumbersome axe so poorly, getting beat-up badly here and there; ergo, I healed him and me and tossed him one of my deep pink double-lighsaber.

"Simile, screw that stout thing and take this!"

"Thanks, Mack! I owe you one!"

"Forget it; it's nothing! Watch behind you!"

Now, he was hopping, rolling, flipping, blocking, and swinging that double-saber like an inept fire dancer! Sakura then held her broad, gigantic katana up high to charge her blade with "frost energy" (in other words, draining the blade's thermal energy) and swung that sword horizontally as if she held a grudge against the wind, unleashing a line of icicles (Green Arithmagics). When Monique and Aukai were slashing away some foes with their chain whip/lightspear, I decided it was time to mess with "Sinbad" and his double-helix plasma blades.

He was a spirit being; therefore, I had to imbue Bright Arithmagics into my saber, making sparkles around the bright, deep pink blades as I ran toward him. Executing a sword-waltz with seemingly unnatural style and grace, we counterpoised each other's brands, kicks, and tricks until I seized the chance to high-jump over him and spin up-side-down in mid-air, mowing through his neck! I landed on my feet and faced Sinbad, only to see him unharmed! I completely forgot about that dildo! A werewolf came up behind me and tried to knife me, but I swiftly pruned his arms and pushed him off the boat by summoning a weak horizontal tornado (we'll call this a "wind tunnel" for sake of ease) from my right palm. Sinbad then made a swirling gesture with his sabers, unleashing a frigid corona which I had to leap over. As soon as I landed, I poked my sword backwards and then forwards, killing off two slowpokes; from Sinbad's curtails came evil black arcs that were quite invisible in this dark scenery, but I, soaring forward like a propeller, slashed them away, but before I could come nigh him, a weretigress managed to grab my leg and hurled me into Mr. Steiner, he and I tumbling across the deck, and Sim’s axe slid out of his pocket.

“Sorry ‘bout that, Simile; you OK?”

“No problem; I think I’m OK…”

I sprung into the air in no time, hacking/kicking at the fiends surrounding me like a foolish unlicensed tai quan do trainer. Picking up and activating the laser axe, I stuck the axe head in the deck and swung on it like a brown-belt pole-dancer with many kicks, curtails, and that running kick that Neo did in The Matrix Reloaded! Once I quit it with the pole-dancing, colorless ripples came forth from my front kick and pushed down some foes—except Sinbad, who formed an X with his blades, resisting the small waves of repulsions by some mystical force. He and I clashed blades/shins/elbows one more time; I missed his left slash but got struck down by his immediate left elbow-thrust, making me tumble behind Aukai, who blocked his hit and jolted him away for me! I then pounced upon him, executing a series of psychotic curtails; if he did get hit, he didn’t seem hurt by my attacks. Ergo, along with my demented chisels, I added some jumping roundhouse kicks, but he negated them with his own (yes, it was quite painful, thank you); my shins were getting sore, but I had no time for Blue Arithmagics. I instinctively, decisively lashed out at Sinbad and attempted to jam my saber into his sternum, but with one sword, Sinbad deflected my thrust, and with the other, he sliced my forearm (luckily, it wasn’t cut off…) and kicked me backwards through a strong, painful front kick, may back/butt facing the floor; the sharp electrical sting from the cut almost made me cuss while some gushing blood exploded from the wound like lava from a volcano. Happily leaping toward me, Sinbad would have ended me, if Sakura’s gigantic Lunar Sun hadn’t kept his blades at bay.

Sakura (Satoko): “Matty, now!”

Me: “Whadya mean ‘now’???”

Sakura: “NOW, you doggone maggot!!!!”

I mysteriously remembered that black sword-dildo in my pocket, rolling behind Sinbad and tried to shove that dildo up his…but, he fleetly dashed to my left. Whirling 1,080 degrees counterclockwise, Sinbad obviously was trying to get rid of poor old me—judging by the strength he put into his slashed, which I had to parry (I can’t blame him, for he’s the only foe on the ship right now!). My CIA buddies and our lovely seafarer kept him occupied as I dashed behind him and threw the dildo—guided by gravitational Green Arithmagics—straight to his—you know…

“NOOOOO!” Sinbad was banished to another realm—and so were his double-helix blades and the dark clouds above us. Aukai was so happy to be alive that she didn’t know what to say; so, she said nothing until we came night Radi Isle.

In no time, my CIA members and I, with the help of Aukai, were launched from the catapult and onto the island that was fifty yards above us; it was very bright up here, and we didn’t have our sunglasses—except Satoko; so, the following portion of this chapter shall be according to…

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Satoko Shikaku’s Account

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We were expecting more up here. As far as I could tell, there was NOTHING here on Radi—wait a sec! I could see some wooden signs sticking out from—from nothing? The Shining Cathedral must be some invisible temple or something. My friends and that rotten Steiner fellow followed me as we walked into a hall; we knew it was a hall because we were halted by invisible walls when we tried to move to the sides. We continued forward, and I noticed some golden, glistening words that were too bright for my companions to look at directly.

Mack: “Hey, Satoko, why’re you stopping? You see something?—whoa!—something’s bright on the ground.”

Me: “They’re words—perhaps another riddle—”

Monica: “Well, what does it say?”

Me: “‘If thou haveth faith like a mustard seed, you shall speak to the mountain, and it shall obey thee.’”

Sim: “Hmnn, another bloody riddle, like key lime pie on Saturday morning!”

I taunted, “One riddle is more than enough, Simile!”

I scanned the tan-colored ground near this riddle for more clues; I saw an engraved picture of a tree and a golden stone resembling a seed. I picked up the stone and strode further, only to see an engraved picture of a mountain with a “key hole” for the gold stone; after placing the seed-like stone in the “key hole,” nothing seemed to happen, and I bumped into an invisible wall behind the mountain picture.

Mack: “Satoko, I believe you need to speak to the mountain!”

Me: “Matty, don’t be silly—”

Mack: “C’mon, try it with a sweet voice; you’re a good singer, aren’t you?”

Me: “Matty Mack, don’t you flatter my bad singing! You know it ain’t good!” I then spoke doubtfully with enthusiasm, “Mountain, be thou moved…” I added some four-letter words in there, too, but a mystic voice told me that this story was rated PG-13; so, I won’t record what I said…Anyways, nothing happened.

Me: “See, Matty, I told you—”

Mack: “Aw, c’mon, Satoko! You gotta say it with faith!” He then put on a mean, forceful look, stomped the ground with one leg, and pointed at the mountain engraving with his right middle finger while shouting: “Mountain—whew!—you’d better step aside before the wrath of GOD cometh upon thee!—and thy children! What was that? You talkin’ back to me? Don’t—don’t you gimme that look, sucka! Put a smile on that crummy face and move to the side!” Nothing happened, yet Mack Matty continued:

“Look, ya big ol’ maggot, we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way! You can move your unglamorous buttocks to the side, or God’s gonna send His angels to do it for you!”

We thought Mack had lost it—until the tile with the engraving slid to the left, and we also head some passages open all around us, though we couldn’t see it.

Monica: “Way to go, Matty; that was cool!”

Mack: “Did you hear what that mountain called me?”

All, except Matty: “Uh, we didn’t hear anything—”

Mack: “It called me a mack-daddy! NO mountain calls me mack-daddy and lives!!! Whew, these mountains think they’re so high—”

Me: “Matthew, it’s OK; the mountain humbled itself and moved to the side—just like you told it to!”

Mack sighed and said calmly, “Yeah, you’re right; let’s go.” But, before we could continue through the hall, Matty just had to say something: “I’ll let you get away with it this time, Mountain, but next time, you ain’t gonna be so lucky!—you hear me? YOU HEAR ME!?!?!?!? Don’t you turn your back on me! You’d better look at me when I’m talkin’ to you…!”

We finally made it to the other room—or whatever the hell it was. The next glistening message was: “Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift thee up.” A bit before us were some engravings that resembled hand prints; we guessed we had to touch them with our own; to do this, we had to bow—or do the handstand; we chose to bow down, and our “room” ascended to a higher floor! Feeling our way through some invisible walls as the unbearable sunlight’s heat gnawed at us from above, we came upon another shimmering note which I read: “‘When thou givest to the poor, doth not let thy left hand know what thy right hand is doing.’” To our left was a statue that greatly resembled Matty, and its hands were open, ready to receive some alms from the CIA (my acronym). To our right was a big golden bullion. Our weakling Simile used both hands to pick up the bullion in the statue’s hands, yet nothing happened, I guess this was my task; being the strongest member of the team, with my right hand, I placed the bullion back on the ground, then back in the statue’s hand while my left hand was in my black precious, designer’s trench coat pocket. A “door” opened somewhere in this “room,” and we felt our way up a winding stairway and into another doggone room. The heat was too much to bear, forcing us to take off our jackets and use them as umbrellas, shielding us from the sun’s onslaught. In the next “room” was an electronic notepad that hanged on nothing, as far as we could tell, and another riddle read: “Faith, hope, and love—these three, but the greatest of these is love.” On the note pad were the numbers 1, 2, and 3 and three blanks lines beside each number; using the stylus pen, Monica wrote beside 1, 2, and 3 love, faith, and hope—respectively. We heard another door open! The last riddle in the next room seemed too easy; we had to let Simile handle this; if he failed, he would’ve lost his junior CIA membership! I read the last riddle: “‘If thy hand or thy foot causeth thee to sin, cut it off, for it is better to enter life halt or maimed than to have two hands and two feet and be cast into everlasting fire!”

Me: “Sim, cut off the obsidian parts of the statue—not the marble, got it?”

Sim: “Yes, my lady!” …The “room” rose to the highest floor in no time! Ironically, it felt cooler up here, though we were closer to the sun. There was no key up here, only an eBook-reader on some invisible—I don’t know… Monica gave Lord Wyatt a call: “Yo, Wyatt, we’re on top of the Shining Cathedral, but we don’t see a key, only some white eBook-reader.”

Wyatt: “Exactly! You see, I’ve been doing some research; the riddle masters Nightingale and Nemesis created poems—magic verses, if you wish—to open the First Hawaiian Gate.”

Monica: “Great! Thanks a lot, Dr. Wyatt! See ya…!”

As soon as we retrieved the magic verse, the floor seemingly shifted to a slide, taking us back to the ground. I never had an adventure as easy as this in my life; even putting up with Simile’s similes was harder than that!

Sim: “Ever wondered why Sigmund—or whoever—built that First Hawaiian Gate?”

Monica: “Um, to keep the ghosts away?”

Mack: “Maybe the Gate was there all along; perhaps the employees in charge of the money kept these magic verses with ‘em, and Sigmund found them and scattered them after he fled the Bank. Maybe spirits can’t pass through the Gate. That might be why—oh, never mind…”

We looked down from Radi Isle to see the ship; there seemed to be other people on the ship! I didn’t like this one bit, and we dived off the floating island and into the water…

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Aukai’s Account

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I was waiting for those CIA guys to come back, which I doubted; about to light up my Cuban cigar with my thermal Green Arithmagics, I was stunned to hear a girly voice behind me: “Damn, we could be late!” I turned around quickly, only to see a small band of humanoid ghosts! I didn’t know Bright Arithmagics; so, this was gonna be hell, yeah? A ghost girl in a whitish-grey witch outfit pointed her steel-bristled broom at me; she looked similar to—to—Hannah Montana?

The spirit: “Is anyone up there?”

Me: “I dunno!”

“Whadya mean ‘I dunno’?! Don’t lie to me, witch!”

“Hmph, look who’s talking!”

“Don’t play games with me! Where’s the key!?”

“What key?”

“The key to the First Hawaiian Bank! Some magic force keeps me from getting into the Bank!”

“Never heard of that—”

The girly spirit had enough of me and ordered her handful of ghosts to kill me, yeah? Suddenly, I heard a loud plunck sound in the water. “Those CIA guys must be back!” I thought while activating my lightspear.

Deflecting quite a multitude of strikes and quanta, I threw some ropes overboard so those CIA guys could help me, yeah? The fighting was just about over when the CIA guys started crossing blades with the ghosts; that Sakura woman was scarier than the ghosts and finished the minor ghosts all by herself—spinning vertically in mid-air, spinning like an enraged beyblade, and launching serrated holy tunnels, while the rest of us dealt with the ghost witch, flying around as she blocked our attacks, yeah? Once she was on the ground, Mack high-spun-jumped in the air, and his pink blade landed right on the steel bristles brought by the witch’s twirling aerial upper-cut-slash. With her satanic strength, she tossed him higher into the air and deflected our quanta, yeah? Mack fell on the deck feet-first, but the witch ghost managed to get behind me and held her steel sharp bristles to my neck!—yeah?

Mack: “Don’t do it, Helena; your fight is with us—not her!”

Helena: Then, you’d better gimme that key!”

Mack: “What key? We didn’t get a key.”

Helena: “Whadya mean? You have the key! You’re the heroes of this story; you must’ve gotten something up there!”

Mack (looking at Sakura): “How come we have to be the heroes? I thought we were the villains. I mean, we just high-jacked a temple for crying out loud!”

Sakura: “Well, you see, the author always keeps us on the spotlight; so, I guess that makes us the protagonists.”

Monique: “Aw, man, I always wanted to be an antagonist; I—I just wanna know how it feels—”

Helena: “It feels good, I tell ya! You should try it sometime; maybe we can be partners in the next sequel!”

Mack: “Rrrr, once I get my hands on the author, I’m gonna kick his—”

Helena: “Sorry to break up the tension, but—I’m waiting! I have an appointment at 11:00! I need my nail manicured!”

Me: “Forget about me! I’m just a low-life seafarer. Keep the key, you fools!

Sakura: “Aukai, your sacrifice won’t be in vain.”

Helena: “Hey, wait a minute! Heroes are supposed to value human life! What kind of heroes are you?!?”

Sakura: “A different breed of heroes—with financial issues!”

Monique: “We’re not heroes! We’re protagonists!—get that straight through your hallow brain!”

Mack: “Sato—I mean, Sakura, just give her the doggone ‘device’ that we got from Radi Isle.”

Sakura: “We’re gonna trade this for her? Hell no!!!”

Sim: “My lady, please do it—for the author; you know how sensitive he is about innocent deaths; I’m sure he’ll repay the favor—”

Sakura: “With what? He can’t even put food on his own table!!!”

Mack: “Sakura, just give her the doggone thing; Aukai’s an indispensable asset! We can’t lose her—at least not until we find another seafarer…”

Spewing an expletive, Satoko tossed a white eBook-reader into the air, and Helena caught it with the other hand.

Helena: “This is no key; it’s just some stupid poem! You’d better gimme the key or I’m gonna—whew, you don’t wanna know what I’m gonna do to this whore!”

Me: “I’m no whore—I’m a seafarer! My daddy was a whore, yeah?”

Mack: “Helena, that is the key—one of the magic verses that will open the French Hawaiian Bank!”

Helena: “Fine! If you’re lying to me, I’ll kill this seafaring hoe—you hear me!?”

She let go of me and flew away…

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Mateo Dinero’s Account

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Monica—I mean, Monique started to sob; I tried to comfort her, but when I came nigh, she cried, “Snnff, snnff, see what happens to protagonists? THIS!!! Helena’s gonna get that doggone treasure, whahahahahahahh!” I shined a ray of hope onto her soul, saying, “She has only one key, and I don’t think she knows where to find the other five; we still have a chance!!! Let’s call Wyatt to find out where we should go next.

Ring, ring!

“Hello? Satoko?”

“Shhh! Wyatt, call me ‘Sakura’ right now.”

“What?!?”

“It’s CIA business! We wanna know where the haunted islands are.”

“OK, Sakura; ‘love’ is supposed to be warm, right? So, I think the poem is referring to Halloween Island, which still has some volcanic issues from a few days ago! ‘Hope’ seems to be referring to Hoap Les, a haunted isle right off the Cape of Good Hope. I believe ‘despair’ refers to a floating island near the Maldives; it’s surrounded by a magical barrier known as the ‘Dismal Twister.’ I can’t really pinpoint what ‘the fight’ and ‘darkness’ are referring to; I need more research! So, how’s the ‘key’?”

“We lost it,” Sakura admitted.

“What? How?!”

“It’s a ‘long’ story,” said I, “Let’s just say Santa Helena took it by force.”

“I see…well, you still have a chance. Saint Helen can’t do much with one verse, I suppose.”

Satoko spoke up, “Thanks for your help, Dr. Wyatt; we need to cheer up Monique and Simile right now.”

“Monique?”

Sakura lowered her voice, “It’s Monica’s code name.”

“Oh, I see; well, call me if you need me. Gotta do some more researching. Good bye, and tell Monique and Simile to never give up…!”

Satoko then told Aukai in a stern tone, “You need to upgrade this ship ASAP (as soon as possible)! We need this boat to be swift! That’s an order!”

“Hey, you’re not the boss of me!”

“We just saved your life! You owe us at least that much.”

“I didn’t want my meager life, but you shoved it up my—”

“Then, I’ll be happy to take it from you.”

“On second thought, I’ll upgrade this junk ASAP, but I need some money; it might take a while.

“Good! Now, take us back to Corsica; we need to think of a cheap form of transportation that’ll take us to those haunted isles fast.”

Around 4:00 p.m., we made it back to Metaphor’s house.

“Hey, Metaphor, you have any CC (for melee weapons) or DD (for firearms) batteries we could use?” asked I.

“Yes, right here; take what you need! Oh, by the way, tomorrow, I have to take a business trip to Hawaii; so, I won’t be around to—”

“Take us with you!!!!!” we all shouted with joy…!



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Synopsis
Our Crimson Avalanchers head over to Radi Isle to retrieve the first key to the French-Hawaiian Bank, supposedly...Please enjoy another exciting, funny, action-packed chapter of Santa Helena, loves!
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If you like funny acrobatic martial arts imbued with a touch of funky magic and a funny/unique plot in a futuristic world, this is your story, loves! Let me know if you see any type-errors, meow!!! And, by God, POST A COMMENT if you have anything to say, besides the large font!!!
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