Monkey On My Back!
   

It was the summer of 1958 and I had just completed the fourth grade and I had graduated into the invisible zone for children, too old to play with toys and too young to do more of the adult things.

My Mother was on the telephone talking to her Sister Louise re discussing plans for this coming weekend. Thats when I over hear that my Cousin Carl had just traded a baseball glove for a monkey. Wow, what a trade, the trade of the century, a trade that every boy dream of! There was just one thing that I

didnt understand and that was how did Dumbo Carl pull off such a trade? Everyone knows that a monkey is worth a whole lot more than a used baseball glove. Anyway Carl is not very smart, I even knew that I my age but he had made a great trade. Well anyway I over hear that the plan for the weekend was for my family to visit my Aunt Louises home on Saturday and Mom would pick me up Sunday afternoon.

One thing that was really great about visiting Aunt Louise was she only had one rule: dont hurt or kill anyone. In other words all of us children ran totally wild at her house. Aunt Louise would cook an evening meal but you were on your own for breakfast and lunch. There were always cornflakes and milk for breakfast but you better smell the milk carefully and there was always boloney and bread for lunch. There always was a swarm of flies in my aunts kitchen but that wasnt a problem because she would spray them with raid. That boloney had a weird taste that I didnt know for year was Raid fly killer supplement.

Finally Saturday arrived and we were on our way to Aunt Louises. My mother plan to visit her sister during the morning and leaving me for the weekend and I was very excited. I always had a lot of fun at my Aunts house because I could run plum wild. I think I was 12 years old when I realized that she didnt automatically have a child every 12 months. No matter the age of a child that was visiting my Aunt she had one around the same age.

Carl was playing out in the yard as we pulled into the driveway with Elvis sing You aint nothing but a hound dog coming from the crackly car radio. The word of a our arrival began to spread and children of all ages and sizes began to swarm the car from every direction eager to greet us and see what gifts we brought. There were fat children, skinny children, tall ones and short one too.

It was a tradition between my mother and her sister to alway exchange food items gifts whenever they met. Today it was tasteless government surplus food: potted meat and powered eggs that they had obtained somehow. My personal favorite was black berries but there was no such luck this time.

I couldnt have been more excited because now I was going to see the monkey! If I was lucky maybe I could work out a trade for the monkey, although I thought it would be very difficult. I did bring three ring neck snakes, a new baseball glove and a pocketknife hoping for a trade of some sort.

The car hadnt come to a complete stop before opened the door and jumped out. I could here my mother scream I told you not to do that! but I didnt care because this was one of the biggest moments of my life so far. I had always wanted to play with a monkey!

The first thing I wanted to know was where was the monkey and whats it name. Carl answered that it was upstairs in the big room and that he had named it KING KONG! Wow! What a great name. Now I am even more worked up to see this monkey. I had seen a few monkeys before but I had never touched one or held one of those adorable animals and this would be my first opportunity.

Carl turned and motioned that he was head upstairs and I quickly followed as did Frances, Helen, Edna, Jimmy and Carol. Carl and I ran into the house and I think the screen door slammed Jimmy in the face because I hear him let out a yell. So we were running up the stairs and thinking back on the situation in must have look really funny with Carl in the lead and I closely followed him and the rest of children followed by age with the oldest to littlest children climbing the stairs on their hands and knees.

We reached the door and Carl jerked it open and I could smell those stinky chinchillas that Uncle Kenny was raising and he was going to get rich selling them. They sure were smelly furry things that only seemed to do on thing but this is not the place to discuss that.

There he was in the middle of the room KING KONG in his small cage. I ran over to the cage and immediately open the door as Carl was starting to yell NOO! Well KING KONG bolted from the cage like greased lighting and landed on my shoulder biting the holy shit out of me! I screamed loudly and KING KONG then jumped on Carls face and bit part of his ear off! Plastic Surgery was really not around in then and poor Carl had to go the rest of his life with one and a half ears. Carl wrestled with the monkey from hell and broke loose then he darted for the door as KING KONG jumped on Ednas waist and started biting her in a particularly personal spot and she let out a yell that could have waken the dead! This scared KING KONG and he jump off of her and started running after Thelma. Poor Thelma could hardly walk and when KING KONG tackled her she fell on top of the monkey scaring him so he then jumped on Diane head and began biting her neck. Carl and I were afraid to turn around because we knew the monkey was after us but we couldnt run any faster, you know like in a dream you are running and trying to get away but just cant run fast enough! Then Carl opened the door and started to close it behind him but I was able to squeak through before it close and I could hear ear-piercing screaming coming from behind the door as the other children were being getting one by one. It was a terrible situation. As Carl and I were running down the stairs my Uncle Kenny ran up the stairs to rescue his children.

After things settled down all of us children gathered in the kitchen which had been turned into an emergency room of sorts. First there was a brief triage and then we were directed to the cut area administered by Aunt Louise, or the bandage area that her oldest daughter Charlene was taking care of. There were

cuts, scrapes, missing body parts, big bruises and other injuries that our nurses were attended too. After everyone had been taken care of we look like the walking wounded with bandages and band aids covering us.

Our mothers gathered us all together as we went to a drive in for lunch. Here we were all bandaged up with some blood and more merthiolate showing. After we ordered all of us sat quietly at the tables and people began to point and look at us like we were some kind of freaks. We were freaks, we were monkey freaks! We were all veterans of the monkey war and we were some of the only people around who knew what it meant to have a monkey on our back.


Comments:
 
Warriorprincess55   Warriorprincess55 wrote
on 5/20/2008 8:51:10 AM
LOL and LMAO!!!! I don't know if this was meant to be a funny story or not, but you took me right there to that house and I was cracking up as I could actually see that monkey attacking everybody! This is a great story and I enjoyed it! Still laughing too! :) Janice

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Synopsis
This is actually a true story about the misadventures of a money.
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