A letter to James

James –

          I respect and understand the reason you second guess me so much.  I honestly don’t believe it’s the lack of trust in me as a person – but your fear of giving someone trust.  But Murray let me assure you of one thing, I’m in no way, shape, or form a person you need to worry about that with.  I’ve stood beside you, at times when you didn’t even want me there. I’ve watched the women come in and out of your life, yet it did not discourage my devotion.  You are who you are, I can’t change that. However, I can help you see me for something other then misleading. If you honestly think I’ve waited this long to screw this up you are crazy. Being with you is something that I am REALLY happy doing.  You are everything that I’ve ever needed and there isn’t a thing I’d do to jeopardize that.  

          For the record – trusting you is anything but easy. I don’t know what bothers me more – knowing you would sleep with someone, or knowing that I couldn’t provide enough satisfaction to prevent it.  Those two things are thoughts of mere torture, and I hate it. I am almost relieved when I remember how brutally honest you are, and I know that you would tell me. Although. You find it easy for me to question your motives when you are so “secret” about your ware bouts. You have such a great time torturing me with the simple thought.

  James – I love you – everything about you has a way of being remarkable. Having you in my life wouldn’t be ruined by a silly one night stand, or a fuck from the past. I will do whatever it takes to prove this to you. If I have to write a letter daily consider it done, send a card; blow you long time, whatever the case may be I am not giving up! I have come too far to lose you – so believe me when I say I’m not going anywhere.



DwayneKilbourne   DwayneKilbourne wrote
on 10/12/2008 5:23:38 AM
I see deep emotions in this letter, and I really wish you well. Playing second best from time to time is a tough thing, and it certainly is not fun. We all deserve to be number one in someone's life (earthly relationship-related outside of any religious relationship... not to encourage anyone to put someone else above their god), but the roadway is filled with traffic as you move towards your destination. Good luck in your endeavors and dealings!

writing Froglvr1982
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