The Associates of Snarl-Marts

By Elton Camp

Snarl Mart’s much the cause, I suppose

When some local stores had to close

The places run by Mom and Pop,

Slow sales just made them stop

Snarl Mart can sell at prices retail

For less than they pay wholesale

Its great power to negotiate cost

To the smaller merchant is lost

“Just put us to the test

Our prices always best

Cost will you amaze

Sell for Less, Always.”

By such competition giving,

Many have lost their living.

The employees they had to fire

Snarl Mart might deign to hire

Will perhaps give you another job

To replace the one they did rob

You will have naught good to say

About their measly rate of pay

Little chance to have career

Most are part-time we fear

Benefits along with your pay?

Hah, we say just what are they?

With its great power to hire,

It can just as quickly fire.

If “associates” treated unfair

Not a union is there to care.

Will find to organize isn’t wise

Such a location quickly dies

We won’t be put through

Union telling us what to do

To keep our prices so low

Worker raises have to go

If you don’t like our pay

Can replace you in a day

Not even a tiny bit do we care

Stupid smock to make you wear

“Can I serve you?” on the back

In case a customer want to yack

Better not be talking to your friend

If we learn you do, your job will end

Hardly any tolerance at all

For a personal phone call

Work while you are on the clock

Or know that pay we will dock

A second longer on your break

Will be a very serious mistake

No certain chain does this address

Many workers are in similar mess

Until the American economy turns around

Snarl Marts will be your stomping ground