The Associates of Snarl-Marts
By Elton Camp
Snarl Mart’s much the cause, I suppose
When some local stores had to close
The places run by Mom and Pop,
Slow sales just made them stop
Snarl Mart can sell at prices retail
For less than they pay wholesale
Its great power to negotiate cost
To the smaller merchant is lost
“Just put us to the test
Our prices always best
Cost will you amaze
Sell for Less, Always.”
By such competition giving,
Many have lost their living.
The employees they had to fire
Snarl Mart might deign to hire
Will perhaps give you another job
To replace the one they did rob
You will have naught good to say
About their measly rate of pay
Little chance to have career
Most are part-time we fear
Benefits along with your pay?
Hah, we say just what are they?
With its great power to hire,
It can just as quickly fire.
If “associates” treated unfair
Not a union is there to care.
Will find to organize isn’t wise
Such a location quickly dies
We won’t be put through
Union telling us what to do
To keep our prices so low
Worker raises have to go
If you don’t like our pay
Can replace you in a day
Not even a tiny bit do we care
Stupid smock to make you wear
“Can I serve you?” on the back
In case a customer want to yack
Better not be talking to your friend
If we learn you do, your job will end
Hardly any tolerance at all
For a personal phone call
Work while you are on the clock
Or know that pay we will dock
A second longer on your break
Will be a very serious mistake
No certain chain does this address
Many workers are in similar mess
Until the American economy turns around
Snarl Marts will be your stomping ground