Welcome to My Payday Loan Store

By Elton Camp

Here, please allow me to hold the door.

I’m sure you haven’t been here before.

I’m the manager, Mr. Usurer Sleeze.

I’ll serve you just any way you please.

Here, take the most comfortable chair.

Know that I will always treat you fair.

There’s no reason your teeth to gnash

Because you have now run out of cash.

Your financial dilemma I truly respect.

Most live from one payday to the next.

You have not a soul you can turn to.

What exactly are you expected to do?

Unexpected costs can suddenly appear.

A short-term loan your debt can clear.

If your car should suddenly break down,

That is not a reason for you to frown.

To qualify for a payday loan is not hard,

Even if it’s the first time you borrowed.

Don’t worry because that will still be so

If I should find your credit rating is low.

With a bank account and job that is steady,

For a loan from me you will stand ready.

There are not a lot of forms to fill out.

An easy loan is what this is all about.

At your next payday, full payment is due.

That will be easy for a fine boy like you.

Only thirty percent is my interest rate.

That assumes that payment is not late.

Requirements of law I cannot circumvent.

That is actually 780 as an annual percent.

Write a check dated two week from now.

Or the easy loan I am required to disallow.

You simply return and pay what you owe,

Or to your bank this postdated check will go.

But, perchance, if your check should bounce,

For an overdraft fee your bank will pounce.

And to me an additional fee you have to pay.

And the interest rate will go up right away.

And for me here is the very best thing yet:

I will have you trapped in a cycle of debt.

But such as that won’t be true in your case.

Good name and credit you won’t disgrace.

So please sign right here on the dotted line.

And you then escape your financial bind.