The Society to Clothe Naked Animals

The Society to Clothe Naked Animals


By Elton Camp


            I’ve found an important new charity that I now support and heartily recommend to others.  Based in Florida, it’s named “The Society to Clothe Naked Animals.”  It is dedicated to stamping out an evil that threatens to undermine the very fabric of a moral society. 


            How can we expect righteous thoughts and actions, especially from young people, when naked animals are scandalously in view at almost every turn? 


            Perhaps it’s acceptable for chickens and birds to appear in the nude.  After all, they have no external genitalia to offend virgin eyes of onlookers.  Feathers can be viewed as an acceptable covering of their bodies.  But this is an isolated exception to the social wrong I am about to describe.


Dogs well illustrate the severity of the problem.  The procreative organs of the males are not only in plain sight, but the crude beasts make a deliberate effort to display them when they seek out a fireplug to answer the call of nature.  This is boldness and vulgarity in the extreme and an offense to the sensibilities of all onlookers.  Even the females are not without guilt with their breasts shamelessly uncovered.  The propensity of dogs to copulate openly and without regard to privacy is a natural outgrowth of a permissive society that allows them to appear in public in an unclothed state.  How much longer shall we tolerate this wickedness and the inducement to fornication it gives to all, but especially our youth? 


Cattle also are obscene in their display of their bodies, especially the bulls who should, at the very least, be forced to don trousers.  Certainly, a bra should be required for the cows—one that will prevent their nipples from forming a recognizable shape. 


Male horses are among the most injurious beasts to the morality of young women.  Even the Empress, Catherine the Great, was unable to control the debased impulses they inspire.  In this case, no amount of clothing can suffice and the stallions should be confined to their stalls except when being transported.  Only a closed horse trailer, without windows, should be tolerated for that purpose.  To do otherwise invites disaster. Some years ago, a great humanitarian observed, “A nude horse is a rude horse.”  How true that is. 


            To any who suggest that the work of this charity, however noble, is impractical, I answer:  It is not necessary to clothe animals found in the wild, far from civilized society.  These beasts harm only themselves.  They represent no more threat than the humans in Africa who parade about with a display of their flesh.  In the absence of a federal law to cover the entire country, each state, knowing local circumstances, can pass the necessary legislation to control this horrid breach of decency. 


            As to the funding of this worthy cause, the current economic situation probably makes it unfeasible for it to be financed at public expense.  That is where the Society to Clothe Naked Animals comes into the picture.  A donation of only $25 will be sufficient to purchase garments for three small dogs,  A contribution of $50 will clothe larger ones like St. Bernards.  Triple that amount will hide the shame of a horse or bull.  What better use could one make of his money? 


            So let all people inclined toward righteousness take a stand.  Nakedness among animals must receive the same public censure as that accorded to humans who dare to outrage public decency by lewd conduct.  Lift a standard against immorality and carry it high and with pride!  Chant the slogan, “Animals Must Wear Clothes.” 

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