Real Estate Jargon Explained

Real Estate Jargon Explained

 

By Elton Camp



When a house is for sale there’s good reason why

Trouble can come to anyone who advertises a lie



If the sellers certain expressions carefully choose

It will become easy the careless buyer to confuse



“This house is simply loaded with charm.”

Means we hope old and ugly won’t alarm



If you see it’s a “Pet friendly neighborhood,”

Dog manure in your yard should be understood



The praising note, “Easy access to the freeway”

Means thousands will pass your house each day



Beware the notation of “Low maintenance lot.”

Since neither front nor back yards have you got



“Historic house maintained in its original state”

It is a run-down old relic that you soon will hate



“It’s a doll house that you are going to adore.”

The house’s tiny rooms you’ll come to deplore



“The dwelling is located on a fine corner lot”

Then traffic both front and sides you have got



If the place is described as “Ready to move in,”

Then painted with the cheapest grade it has been



“A desirable neighborhood” means that its location

Has made it overpriced due to a snobbish reputation



If of “In-city living” the seller proudly does tell

Not safe to walk after dark it should say as well



If it is a “Handy-man special,” then better look out

The old place is ready to collapse without any doubt



If the advertisement should say, “Lots storage space,”

The basement is nothing but a dark, moldy disgrace



If the selling point is of “Seasonal water view,”

It means water was visible before the trees grew



If the seller says that “All your lot is usable land,”

You can know that not a single tree still does stand



If “Close to shopping” the advertisement does call

It means your backyard is adjacent to the big mall



When the imperative is that you must “See inside,”

It has a horrid exterior that is impossible to hide



If it is happily described as “Cozy, it should be read

That no room is big enough to contain a full-size bed



This is how “Make an offer” you actually should take:

It’s been long on the market so don’t make a mistake



The inviting phrase is “Watch wildlife from your patio”

You can expect to get ticks and fleas if outside you go



So if your house purchase in a year you will praise,

Watch carefully for the real meaning of each phrase


Comments:
 
lostsoul   lostsoul wrote
on 2/26/2011 2:26:47 AM
great piece

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Synopsis
Let the buyer beware.
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