An Ode to PETA

 (The President swatted a fly which brought an outcry of cruelty from PETA.  The fly was named Morty Druckler by a cartoonist who mocked PETA's foolish reaction.)

By Elton Camp

Don’t swat that fly.

Can’t kill that mouse.

Spare the termites

In your house.

Sentient beings are they

With full right to live.

Do not you dare these betray.

Their deaths can’t forgive.

Let them feel pain?

That we so abhor!

From cruelty refrain.

They live to make more.

Animals belong not to us.

Them we must not eat.

Admit and make no fuss.

Veggies are quite a treat.

Animals used for test?

Can’t be right to do.

Let them play and rest.

They are beings too.

We hate all the evil scabs

Crooked, twisted little men

Who keep them in their labs

We free them from all that sin.

We break into such a place

Trash it with great delight

Brings an end to such disgrace

Oh how we love a fight.

A dog is not your pet.

An equal instead.

Feed, wash, and never threat

And lay him on your bed.

Nor is a cat your pet.

Allow her to run your life

She's such a fine asset.

Do not cause her strife

Leather seats in your car?

Shoes from animal skin?

All the righteous must bar.

Plastic or cloth avoid sin.

Never wear a fur coat

Lest you make us faint.

Just so you can gloat?

We will throw on paint.

Sell animals in a store?

Pen them in a cage?

Such we allow no more.

Puts us in a rage.

We love our furry, hairy friend.

Now you know the reasons why

Any slight to him must end.

For animals we’d gladly die.

For those who don’t recognize PETA, it is an animal rights group with views that many consider extreme.  Since satire is subject to being misunderstood, I’ll say plainly that I am not in sympathy with PETA.  I do, however, oppose cruelty to animals.