In Defense of the Witch of the West

In Defense of the Witch of the West


By Elton Camp


In her, nobody sees any good

But maybe they really should.

Cut some slack for the poor old soul

Criticized for what’s not in her control.


A good place to begin

Is the color of her skin.

Who of us can rightly say

Why it’s green that way?


Shame on all of those

Who ridicule her nose.

It is a most terrible creature

Who mocks a physical feature


Is it some kind of sin

To have a pointed chin?

A wart on the face

Is not a big disgrace



No use her to be urging

To see a plastic surgeon.

Maybe she likes her looks just fine.

If so, then why should others mind?


But it is only fair to say

She needs a new couturier.

Styling sense she does lack

Always wearing basic black


Seems no good reason that

She must wear a pointy hat.

It would be wrong not to confess

More like Glinda she should dress.


And it couldn’t be much trouble

Instead of a broom, ride a bubble

She is seldom held to be a dear

Because of how she does appear


But does it actually seem to be fair

For such things, title “Wicked” bear?

The day that most of us would rue

If not judged mainly by what we do.


She showed much care about her own sister

And wished the falling house had missed her

Ruby slippers rightly belonged to her

Not to some girl and her mangy cur


When her claim she made clear

Glinda proceeded to interfere.

Shoe theft is an act so bad

She had a right to be mad


Due to that, she left in a huff

Gone in fiery blaze and a puff

It was to all a warning clear

To that lady don’t come near


To escape very just punishment for her crime

Dorothy wanted to go to another place and time

“Who can help me get back home?”

She then began to sob and moan


“The Wizard of Oz is the one to help,

So on the yellow brick road please step.”

For dwarfs to give such advice

To a murderer wasn’t at all nice.


When on that path they Dorothy set

Her fiendish act they came to abet

When to aid a criminal they did dare,

In that one’s guilt they came to share.


Other partners in her crime soon came to be

Scarecrow, Tin Man, Lion—an evil three

The witch could no longer show pity

As they came near to Emerald City


She kindly allowed them to take a nap

When rightly she should the robbers zap

But what do you know?

Glinda made some snow.


When before the Wizard they did stand

He made the most dire and cruel demand

To get my help, you must pass this test:

Get the broom of the Witch of the West


Dorothy was the first to admit

Try that and she will have a fit.

But we will go there and try.

So what if witch has to die?


So with murder in her evil heart,

Toward the castle she did depart

Witch of the west we must commend

Since her domain she tried to defend


Undeterred, the four continued to hassle

The woman in her home, her own castle.

In treachery Dorothy then dealt

Threw water, caused her to melt.


Maybe it was an accident, but still

It was second person she did kill.

It is surely a totally safe bet

The murders she didn’t regret


Witch’s servants whom she gave jobs

Laughed at her death rather than sobs.

The poor witch had lived much alone

Then all rejoiced when she was gone.


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The Witch of the West got a bum rap.