Buy From Bernie’s Used Cars at Your Peril

By Elton Camp

Old Bernie’s widely seen and is quite a sight

He wears a cap and often dresses all in white

He claims to be righteous and blessed by God

The way he does business makes that seem odd

He says he offers the only genuine deal around

And has branches found in almost every town

He has controlled his empire for many days

And is surrounded by sycophants who praise

But many of his top men want to take his place

And wouldn’t view his death as any disgrace

If the car’s defective, would he do anything about it?

To be frank, his whole history makes me doubt it

Perhaps he’d get it off the road with a recall?

There is no way he is going to do that at all

Even if cars he offers cause suffering and pain

It is still functioning on the road they will remain

A really bad model to another dealer may transfer

But to fix the basic problem seems not to occur

The profits he makes go into his very own bank

Where they are put to uses that many find rank

Possibly he’ll say that problems he does deplore

But you need not look for him to do anything more

If an underling the whistle should then blow

He will lock the man up for letting people know

Go ahead and buy a car from this man if you must

But don’t blame me if he should betray your trust