A Doctor's Personal Notes

A Doctor’s Personal Notes


By Elton Camp


See John Jones on my appointment list

Several things on which I must insist

Even though I know he’s doing just fine

A few little tests won’t be out of line


No X-rays since way last year

Even though they came up clear

It would be wrong if he is denied

New pics from front, back, and side


Also will do a check on his bone density

To osteoporosis his wife has propensity

Can make him think his might be thin

Since the problem found among his kin


He will not know to say

“We don’t have same DNA

Genetics come from those before

Never from the wife you adore.”


“And another thing, my man,

Time you had a Cat Scan”

He won’t know that needless radiation

Can contribute much to cancer formation


That test will show me why

Jones should also have an MRI

Picture will be so clear

Every detail will appear


Neither of those I know how to read

But really know there will be no need

If unexpected should come to pass

Then I will have “covered my ass.”


Also, it will doubtless be best

To give him another stress test

Though he is only thirty-five

Heart trouble could arrive




Then will come the next exam

Little thing called arteriogram

Though lack justification why

To put into him all that dye


Causing a stroke is very rare

Of that risk he isn’t aware

There’s no real reason why

It should cause him to die


Then check out every nook

Give his colon a good look

At his age colon cancer is so rare

But refuse my advice he won’t dare


Office visit fees are just not enough

To pay for all the latest neat stuff

What I have learned way before

Real money is from tests galore


Knew he has a fine medical plan

I checked before his visits began

If he didn’t prove to have that

As patient, turn him down flat


Insurance I truly love

It is a gift from above

Patient helped stay healthy

While I grow more wealthy


Nobody has any right to grouse

Because I built a fine new house

Long as I keep them coming back

Every year can get a new Cadillac


My wife I am about to divorce

Will cost much money, of course

In order for me to make it back

Patient visits must stay on track


“First, do no harm”

Causes me no alarm

If by true ethics I fail to abide

Other docs will help me hide



Need not fear being called to account

Can charge Blue Cross just any amount

Because I am a noble healer

Not some sleazy double dealer

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