THE SADDEST SOUND I HAVE EVER KNOWN (A Poem)
THE SADDEST SOUND I HAVE EVER KNOWN

Yet another night
when the bedroom ceiling has become
my whole world.
And as the bedside clock tumbles
from 4.21 to 4.22
I realise
the stone possibility exists
that you have forgotten me.

17 years have fallen to the deep sides
of time
since our hearts held
tender teenage love for each other,
13 since last we saw each other.
And while I am a man
who forgets too little
and remembers too much
I must accept,
must admit
that I no longer
occupy a chamber
of your heart,
nor even a jagged corner of your memory.
I can now almost imagine your frown
and slow shaking head
when offered my name,
your deep eyes empty
of even the thinnest recognition,
the barest flicker of yesterday,
and that unwanted,
unneeded
image
shakes my foolish heart,
shakes my foolish, foolish heart
until its four chambers
crumble, fall,
the slow wind of reality
able to whistle clean
and loud
through it,
through me,

the saddest sound I have ever known.

Edward Lee

Comments:
 
EdwardLee   EdwardLee wrote
on 2/26/2010 9:11:07 AM
Thank you Ve for your kind comments

Ve   Ve wrote
on 2/23/2010 7:10:33 AM
Oh my what utter heart ache. I have never heart it expressed so visually. The saddest sound I have ever heard is a wonderful title because yu imediately want to know what sound that is(even if you might be able to guess). You split and change from your rhythm of delicate descriptive lines to a more simple method or repeating things which almost ruins it. From the view of your well written parts I imagine that you can achieve emphasis without resorting to repetition. Use more description so you don't break your style. Very good. I'll give you 9/10 I do hope that the poem is not from real heart ache. If so then though you might want to hear or believe, time heals all wonders. Notice how no one ever tells you how much time ;)

EdwardLee
Poetry
Free Verse
writing EdwardLee
Bookmark and Share

You must log in to rate.
Rating: 9.0/10

© 2014 WritingRoom.com, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
WRITING | POETRY WRITING | CREATIVE WRITING | WRITE A BOOK | WRITING CONTESTS | WRITING TIPS