LONGING FOR A JEEP

I was a baby of six at that time

When I was longing for a toy jeep

I told my desire to my loving Mom

As usual I did not tell my Dad

I don’t tell any desires to my Dad,

Knowing, that may be a burden to Dad,

Who manages somehow, running the show

Govt’s small wages he gets in total

May be the truth is that, I was afraid

Telling my longings to my beloved Dad

I felt the toughness of life at that time

Through the rubbish words from Dad

Let me come back again to my story

Promise of Mom; “I’ll let Dad know”

I thought that I would be denied of

Even, longing for “worthless” things like that

The shops were set during the event

Of celebration of the birthday festival

Of ‘Kali’*, the mother of the world,

Who stays in one of the temples nearby

It was the final day of celebration,

I thought telling my desire to Mom

But I could not tell it till end of the day

I managed it on the very next day

Mom presented my longing to my Dad

When he was setting out for his office

Slowly, so slowly she said that to Dad

I knew that she also afraid of Dad

“Our son, I know it is worthless to buy;

The immature longing of our sweet darling,

Wants to buy a toy jeep from

The ‘Viri’* that set beside the temple”

I could see the ridiculing face

“What foolishness?” I heard his mouth,

Opened so loudly to make my Mom

To step back to the kitchen so quick

I was trying to polish my mind

To set for the world without the jeep

When Dad reached the gate of my house

Mom murmured from behind the lawn

“Do you feel it as good behaviour?

Who else will give for our beloved’s longings?

Whom else will he get some coinage from?

Keeping so mum and going so free!”

I saw my father, picking a ten rupees’ note

And throwing with anger towards my side

I, who was standing with a little hope,

Jumped on the way to the wrinkled note

I ran to the shop thinking about the jeep

With a heart which jingling the joy

I reached the shop near the Kali temple

There I could see my heart was leaking

Leaking the jingling joy suddenly

Leaking the glee of getting the note

Leaking belief on my Kali temple

Leaking the salt-filled tears from eyes

There I could see, broken pieces of bangles

There I could see, broken pieces of balloons

There I could see, broken pieces of toys

There I could see, broken pieces of tears

Tears falling from middle of my face

I could not feel its origin so far

Because my eyes were shut with tears

I tried my level best to be a good boy

Tried to wipe my face, off tears

Tried to look up the sky for cheers

Why so early they wound up the shop

There might be birthday of another Kali

I thought that they should not stop for a boy

If there is a birthday of another Kali

Somewhere far from this Kali temple

They should go and fill up the hearts

There would be boys who born for delight

I may be one who, deprived it of

I gave the note back to hands of my Mom

 “They have gone”, my heart busted out

·        Viri  - Small temporary shops setup during festive seasons to sell out bangles and toys for small children (Viri is a word in Malayalam, the language of Kerala)

·        Kali – Name of a goddess in India (Bhadra Kali). People celebrate the birthday of Kali on different days in different locations)