WAITING FOR THE SUN
The snow is gently falling as I sit alone in a dark room
I can see the shadows from the street light as the flakes soar to the ground
Depressed in my mind and soul
Moods ever changing like daylight to darkness
Slowly changing, but each clearly defined
I look around, try to find a reason to turn the light on
None comes to mind, instead a dark reality, that I just don't care

I lay on the bed in a river of regret
Wishing I could have a change, but not willing to break free, too much trouble
I want to go outside, I want to run, laugh, feel anything again
I don't have the urge to get to my feet, my mind is in control
I slowly drift off to sleep only to wake again hoping for the morning light
Disappointed that it is still only the wee hours of the night

I know people care, I know they love me
They just don't allow themselves to slow down enough to see the change
The darkness that is consuming me, taking my ambitions, my life
Everyone thinks I am happy, have everything, no one is really looking at me
No one really knows the real me, the loneliness the hurt within my heart

I will lay here in this place and maybe tomorrow a purpose will come
I will find that reason I am searching for to breathe life again
I do not know my destination, or the road I will travel
I do not know when, or if, that change will ever come
But, maybe the memories that put me in this dark room will eventually fade
Then I will once again walk in the daylight with the sun shining down on my face



Comments:
 
penname   penname wrote
on 3/21/2009 12:33:02 PM
i will have to get your book. these words go to the very core.

penname   penname wrote
on 3/21/2009 12:32:20 PM
amazing. depression often even when not clinical can be so debilitating because it is very real. a true discontentment with what one knows in their heart their life should be but is not. almost like fish living in a puddle...it can survive, but just barely- and it seems impossible to find joy other than in the Lord and for the gift of life itself. Often that is the key to surviving...until the sun does come up.

StarPoet   StarPoet wrote
on 3/2/2009 3:11:47 AM
You speak for those who are depressed. Many who are can relate to what you wrote here. I had an old boss who described it as the "icy blackness" or "the abyss" for he felt both. He took back his life by learning how to build his own motorcycle. Through trial and error he learned it till he built his own bike. And that bike helped him to meet his wife. Last I heard they are still together 20 yrs. later.

BIDDIXGIRL
Poetry
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writing BIDDIXGIRL
LIFE IS A RIDE, EITHER OF JOY OR REGRET. WHICH DO YOU CHOOSE? THINK QUICKLY, YOU MAY SOON BE AT A DEAD END!
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Synopsis
DEPRESSION CAN TAKE AWAY YOUR LIFE. YOU CAN TAKE IT BACK!
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