My Nemesis, The Beginning of the end Book Sample








One Year Later


“Honey, do you have everything you need?”

“Yea, I think so. I wish you were coming with me.”

“I know sweetie, but you will be fine. Just give your Father a chance. He and his Family are very excited to meet you. You have a grandmother and grandfather you’ve never met. Many people should be so lucky to have two sets of living grandparents.” Joy looked down at Ashley’s floral printed bed spread. Her mind drifted away to a far away land. “Ever since my Father died, I’ve seen things a lot differently. I know Jake has been your Father since you were 2 years old, but you should know your biological Father as well. Jake and I have had our disagreements about this from time to time. However, we both agreed that up until now, you were too young to be bounced around. We just wanted to protect you. So please don’t blame your Father, he has made a number of mistakes. Although I can’t say that he doesn’t love you. He does so very much. Both of your Fathers.”

“Mom all that is well and good, and I know that you guys were protecting me. That’s what parents do. I get it. I also get that I have a Father. I don’t care about visiting those people. If they knew about me, and where we lived, why haven’t they come to see me? I don’t want to go?

“You’re going!”

“Why? What is this really about Mom? Is this because of the house, and the stress you have been under? I can help. I know the boys can be a handful.”

“No Ash, you don’t have to. I want you to go and enjoy yourself. I need you to. It’s not the house, its me.”

“Are you sick? Ashley began to get worried. She started to shake immediately, as the tears began to stream down her face. She always had a hard time with stress and anxiety. It was as if she went into panic mood at the slightest notion that something were wrong.

“No!” Joy smiled crookedly as her lips quivered visibly. She was lying and she couldn’t hide the emotional effects that stormed upon her. She hated lying to her Family about her recent battle with illness. Her physical health was deteriorating. As a result her mental state of mind was flawed. She became delirious at times, with a vicious rage that she could not explain. Her actions were murderous. Her memory was short, just as her temper. The Family knew as much. The tension so thick, often you could cut it with a knife. Jake was close to breakdown himself. She thought for sure he’d file for divorce. Joy couldn’t bring herself to tell the family that she was dying. She knew Jake well. He and the children would waste the time she had left pitying her. Sending them away while she went through treatment was best.

Joy and her sister Samantha spent countless hours researching possible treatment centers and trial studies, on her rare lung disease. Ever since the doctor called with the news Joy was on edge. Sam begged Joy to just tell her Family what was going on so that they could support her. Her change in mood was obviously unsettling to the children because she was usually such a fun loving, easy going spirit. A workaholic but clearly devoted to her family.

Sam and Joy did stumble upon a small research project that involved some heavy duty consent forms and cash. Joy didn’t care she had to try something before giving in to informing her Family of the news. The treatment would cost $10,000. 10 thousand, Joy couldn’t afford at the time. Jake and Joy had just bought a home. Her business loan was excessive, and tutoring for Ashley was an arm and leg. Although Jakes business flourished she couldn’t go to him for the money, without explaining the need for such a large amount of cash. So she was forced to take her business elsewhere. A place where she’d rather not expose. It was almost as bad as going to a loan shark for the money.

Jacob, Joy’s Ex supplied her the funds. His cocky throwback swag was from something out of the old gangster film, “New Jack City.” He sat at the head of the table unnecessarily far from reach, as he discussed the terms of the loan. Joy nearly threw up as he whistled with his teeth and his tongue. He always wore this nasty, gritty, sex face, when he talked to her. His nose was turned up and his brow creased as if something smelled.

Joy knew the game already, she knew exactly what he wanted.

In exchange she would finally agree to send Ashley down to visit for a few months. Joy gritted her teeth as she agreed. She didn’t have an excuse not to send her since her preteen years arrived. Her main excuse had always been that Ashley was much too young to be traveling alone, or visiting strangers without her presence.

“Mom, are you ok?”

“What I’m fine? I just drifted off for a moment.”

“Yea, I know. You were squeezing my hand. Is everything ok?

“Yes of course. I’m just going to miss you, is all.”

“I am too. That’s why I should stay home.” Ashley cheesed with her bright over exaggerated smile, she used when she were trying to get her way.

“Nice try! Grab your things the train is always early when we are running late.”

“Mom, you always say that.”

“Yea, but this time you really have a train to catch. So lets go. Lets go.” Joy threw her hands in the air shooing Ashley to grab her bags.

Jake was already heading for the car with the boys in tow.

“Hey were you going to say goodbye?”

Jake turned around with a glare in his eyes, that burned Joy’s face. She could literally feel the heat as she touched her reddening cheeks.

“I wasn’t aware you cared, with the way you are shoo flying us about the house. One would think you were deliberately trying to get rid of us for some odd reason.”

“Jake don’t do this. You are being ridiculous. I am going on my book tour. I have a ton of research to do, meetings…” Joy shook her head and raised up her arms, as she pinched her lips tightly together. “This trip will be good for you and the boys. I will drive up next week. It makes no sense to postpone the trip, waiting around for me. Go! Take the boys, they are going to love the snow.” Joy smiled and bit her bottom lip at Jake seductively.

“Whatever Joy.” Jake couldn’t help but smile at his lover and best friend. “I just wish you would put this book tour aside. You can go and sign books anytime.”

Joy looked down at the ground solemnly and kicked a few pebbles from her garden back into its bed. Realizing that she may be giving away the possibility that something was in fact wrong, she perked up as if a switch was turned on and off. “Yea you say that now; but when the publishing company refuses to pay my advance, you will be singing an entirely different tune.”

“Funny Joy! Real cute. You better have your ass in Big Bear by noon Sunday morning. Remember we are taking the boys for their Jr. ski lesson.”

“Ok, Big Daddy. I will be there with bells on. I can’t wait for you to see my night in the snow lingerie.”

“Yea me either.” Jake grinned. “I doubt you’ll be wearing it long. Jake winked at Joy and got into the car. The boys were fastened tightly in their seats and screaming Daddy let’s go. They were anxious to get on the road. “I love you Joy.” Jake screamed out the window as he began to back out of the drive way.

“Oh Yea,” Joy replied smiling generously. “For how long, just for today?”

“No Babe. Always. Infinitely.”

Joy waved her last goodbye and ran into the home to recover, from the cold on her bare soles. She slammed the front door and ran to her warm shaggy rug to warm her chilling feet. “Wow, I’m really gong to do this. What If it doesn’t work?” Joy blew a tendril from her eye. It was itching and irritating her eyebrow. She plopped down on the couch and sighed. “I hate that I lied about this whole treatment business; but I just couldn’t bear to get Jakes hopes up. I hadn’t even told him I was sick, and if he thought there were some chance at a cure he would be sure to stress himself. I couldn’t risk him worrying about me. We have the kids he has to be there for. I do hope this works.” Joy was pacing the living room floor, until she found herself in the kitchen searching for her Hagen Daz Ice cream, and a huge spoon. “I hope and pray I can just make this nightmare go away.” Joy said as she gulped down a huge spoon full of ice cream and looked into her reflection in the spoon.

Joy gathered her thoughts and took the tour around her home. She hadn’t been home alone in such a long time. She didn’t know what she was going to do with herself. Joy locked the doors and windows of her home, and made her way to the upstairs bedroom. She had a plan to soak in the tub and review a couple of chapters, of her life’s work before going to bed. She was shaky about how her book would end. So she decided to use her time soaking in a tub of bubbles to perhaps brainstorm some fresh ideas.

Joy couldn’t help but think of Jake and the kids. Ashley should have been half way to Los Angeles by now. Joy thought to give them a couple more hours before she phoned to check on them.

As the water filled the tub, Joy’s mind raced. She really had no interest in reviewing her notes on the book. Her stomach was hurting. She felt nervous and uneasy. Stress and anxiety were two of Joy’s major set backs that threatened her sanity. She wasn’t comfortable being alone in the home. Nor had she been away from her children or Jake no longer than a day at work, or temporary stay at the hospital. The home was too quiet and dark.

Joy turned off the water to her bath, and ventured off into her master suite, to let the water cool before she took a dip. She had her own, “cleansing system” she liked to call it. She would run the bath as hot as the temperature allowed, then wait for the water to cool to her liking. Lightly skipping about the room, Joy located her remote and flipped through the channels. As she turned she noticed that all the channels were blue. “Damn It,” An irritated Joy threw her arms in the air and rolled her eyes. Blowing her hair from her brow she smacked the side of the television. “I hate this TV.. I knew we should’ve switched services.” Joy shut off the receiver and hit the power button to reset her television. As she waited for the television to reset, she scurried into the bathroom to check her bath.

As Joy tipped into the bathroom, the winds blew suddenly and shattered the glass of her bathroom window, falling inches from her head. Joy ran from the bath to search her room for her tennis shoes and gun. She thought for sure there was an intruder afoot.

Jake thought it best to protect themselves and their property. The neighborhood was very nice and quiet, however his motto was, “Better safe than sorry.” Jake bought his and her guns in case of an emergency. She grabbed her 22 and unhooked the safety. She moved quickly to the hidden door of her bedroom closet.

The bedroom closet led to the basement. It was the perfect hideaway in case of an emergency. Joy grabbed her purse and cell phone, as she ran down the stairway towards the basement. She quickly powered on her phone and dialed 911, as she bolted the trap door.

“911, what is your emergency?”

“I think someone Is trying to get into my home.”

“Ma’am, get to a safe place. There is a terrible storm. Did you see someone enter your home? A tornado is hitting ground in approximately two minutes.”

“Oh my God!”

“Ma’am…did you see the intruder?”

“No, the window broke in my bathroom. I thought someone was trying to get in. I am in a safe place. I locked myself in the basement.”

“Good Ma’am. Stay put.”

Joy was delirious. Her thoughts ran wild. She couldn’t help but think about her family. She wondered incessantly. Wondering, if they had traveled out of range, dodging the horrible twister.


Joy was standing with the phone glued to her ear, somewhere between la, la land and earth. She couldn’t hear a sound.

“Ma’am,” the police officer called for a response, once again. “Please hold the line.”

“Joy realized suddenly that she was still holding her phone and hung up. She was nervous. Quickly, Joy searched the basement pantry for safety equipment and emergency supplies. Jake was big on emergency procedures. He had the kids practice fire drills and earthquake precautions monthly.

As Joy rumbled around the pantry gathering supplies, she felt an enormous amount of fear hovering over her clouded mind. She had been in many storms, but none as gruesome as a tornado. Trying to get her water supply into the deep freezer, she winced with pain, as she tried to hike the 5 gallon jug of life just over the freezers edge. Just as she was able to get the jug into the freezer, the lights went out. “Shit! That’s just great.” Joy sunk to the floor just in front of the freezer. She buried her head in her hands and began to sob softly.

















Princess Ash…


Ashley, starred blankly into the window of the train, as the country hills blew by. Passing through the San Joaquin Valley was peaceful and a great time to think things through. She was only twelve, but a an old soul, much like her Father. Ash was nervous about meeting him and didn’t quite know how she was going to address the situation.

She wasn’t exactly honest about her feelings. She wanted to meet him and her new sister. She was just worried about hurting her Step Father’s feelings. She knew her Mother wanted her to get along with both sets of parents. She expressed how lucky she was to be blessed with such a loving an accepting Family, often.

Although Ashley, was excited about seeing her biological Father, she still had a number of questions she needed to have answered. Ashley, looked down at her paper of scribbled pros and cons to jot down some of her most recent thoughts. She was very much like her mother. The pen and pad were her most treasured tools. They were also the most powerful. Ashley was great with creative writing, and had received a number of awards for her writing.

Deep in thought Ashley began journaling her the exciting adventures of her to trip home. She called the adventure, “Home” because she was traveling to a place where she would meet the other half of her creator. Finally, the pieces of her soul would be united and she would be able to fully understand who she was, and where she had come from. She wrote of her past meetings with her Father. They were vague, but she remembered bits and pieces of their encounters. It was important to her to write, the description of him as she remembered. She wanted to fill in the blanks, when she saw him again.

Ashley was beginning to get sleepy. The hot tea, was a Godsend. It calmed her nerves, and enabled her to write freely; but it relaxed her muscles so much she was soon to fall asleep. Suddenly, the lights went out overhead and the train shook violently, and abruptly.

Ashley unbuckled herself to get a better look at what was happening. She flew from her seat to get a look at the other passengers and their reactions. Concerned, and out of touch with the seriousness of the situation, Ashley flung herself from seat to seat as the train swayed on and off the tracks. A lady was slumped over in her seat and bleeding. She rushed to help her sit up in her seat, and grabbed for a pillow.

Noticing that the situation was life threatening, Ashley made her way back to her assigned seat as the attendants flowed through the aisles to help passengers stay calm. There was a loud chatter thundering down the small wing of train cars. Ash, began to get alarmed. She reached for her phone but it had fallen from her coat pocket and on to the floor of the train. She caught sight of it just before it slid across the floor as she plopped back into her seat. Ash grabbed for her journal but, her gloves were too thick for her fingers to grab hold of the flimsy pages. The Journal took flight across the train car as the beverage cart flew past her cheek. She could feel the burn, as it scratched her, much like the rug burns, her older cousins gave her at family functions.

Ashley grabbed for her seatbelt as the train began to sway to and fro. She was beginning to panic. Her hands were shaking so badly that she could hardly buckle herself in. The bell rang just above Ashley’s head as she grabbed for her armrests. Her heart was beating out of her chest.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, please get to your seats and take refuge.”

“Refuge?” Ashley whispered to herself. “Could we use 12 year old language here? What the Fuck is going on?” Ashley quickly stifled herself, as she could hear her mothers voice in her head telling her to remain calm and watch the language. Ashley swallowed hard as her oxygen mask fell from its containing unit. She quickly retrieved it as the captain mumbled on incoherently. All she could here were muffled sounds of panic and distress. It was in that moment Ashley let go of her cocky attitude, and prayed that her Mom and Dad would come to her rescue.

Ash closed her eyes tightly as the loud sounds of wind and rain hit against the metal of the train. The trains Plexiglas windows shattered, and the body of the train melted into thin air. Ashley felt lifted into the heavens as the wind whipped her and the other passengers in her car up into the air. The spinning made her nauseous. She hated rollercoaster’s. Wind and dust entered her lungs as the mask ripped from her face. She never opened her eyes. She dreamed as if she were a ballerina dancing at an opera. She was without fear gliding upon the stage. She was gone without a trace. A peaceful trip that she happened to chance upon.












No Exceptions


“This trip is long over-due boys.” Jake ranted on, as he drove up the winding hills. The sky had turned dark and the winds blew furiously. Traffic was so backed up he could see lines of cars for what seemed like miles ahead. “Hold on Boys, I am going to see what the hold up is, around here.” Jake jumped from his truck to take a look at the scene. The wind was cold and chilling to his bones, his muscle tee blew in the wind like a sheer scarf. Jake thought about his coat that was in the trunk section of his Suburban and ran against the wind to grab it. As the winds velocity began to pick up, Jake threw on his coat anxiously in an attempt to shield himself from the blows of the wind and rain.

As the showers began to pour, Jake took notice at the others looking high towards the east of them. A large cloud was swirling in place, and growing larger by the second. Jake ran towards his car, after slamming the trunk of his Suburban. “Boys!” Jake screamed afraid more than ever. The Boys were sleeping soundly. The sounds of rain patted the windows of the truck, rocking the boys to sleep. Jakes eyes began to swell with tears. Others around slowly got into their cars to take cover. Some stood and embraced their loved ones bravely to face the inevitable.

Jake was lost in thought and in emotion. He was scared for the lives of his children. Joy was at home alone, he couldn’t bear to think of the thoughts running through her mind. Jakes breathing grew shallow in his over-sized puff coat. He pulled himself from under the smothering fabric, and began to pray.

Jake grabbed for his steering wheel as he locked eyes on the his two boys sleeping in the back seat. Tears began to stream down his cheeks. Unable to tear his gaze from his children, he buckled his seatbelt slowly. Just moments before the storm hit ground he leaped from the car to join the others waiting in traffic. Cars were backed up for miles. He couldn’t see why the traffic had come to a dead stop. It was coming down pretty hard. The other drivers were beginning to panic. Noticing the winds picking up speed and velocity he took cover, retreating back into his Suburban.

The howling wind began to spin as it captured the lives of men, women, and children; all looking with shocked helpless eyes, as there were no exceptions. After the winds treacherous vengeance on mother nature the roads were left with a soft whistle. Debris scattered the roads, bodies of all kind lay badly battered and bruised. The ring in their ears were the last sounds of life.

Jake closed his eyes as his shelter was swallowed into the wind. He went peacefully at the thought of his children dreaming serenely in the backseat.



After The Storm





Joy came from under her wooden shelter. The storm had seemed to pass. It was quiet. The whistle of the wind had gone. Joy was so afraid she had never experienced such an event. When the tornado hit it was like the wind was screaming. The blustery weather was calling out murderous vengeance against the wrongs humans did upon their natural resources. She was stunned at the damage the tornado left behind. She was underground and still felt its wrath.

Joy winced as she pulled herself up from under the wreckage. Her wooden shelter gave way about half way threw the storm. She was lucky to have awoke, after suffering such a blow to the head. A can of half empty paint, fell from the edge of one of the wooden storage shelves above her haven; and hit her in the head. She was lucky to only suffer a mild concussion.

Joy’s arm however, was in worse shape. It had suffered the blunt of the shelves demise. She used her shoulder to shield herself, as she was knocked to ground. After the blow to the head all the strength she muster was to simply, ball up into the fetal position. Leaving her arm fully exposed, her head and face protected. Joy was crushed by the wood. With her arm in such pain it took her some time to free herself. Joy threw herself into survival mode and limped from the wooden pile. She couldn’t believe her eyes. The glass of the basement windows were broken and the curtains blew slightly as if breathing faintly. There was a shadow of light that streamed into the basement exposing some of the damage, that lay upon the basement floor. Joy stood in the middle of the lighted path and gazed out the window. She was slightly hunched over. The pain was excruciating. It was starting to cloud her judgment. For a moment she could have sworn she saw her husband Jake, standing just outside among the fallen trees, holding the hands of her three children.

Joy blinked anxiously trying to clear her mind and vision, as the warm blood from her battered head, dripped into her right eye. She hadn’t realized she was bleeding. Joy frantically wiped the blood from her eye and forehead and blinked again limping towards the window as fast as she could. She nearly stumbled over her own feet, as her mind was moving faster than her body could carry her. She blinked again and grabbed hold to the windows edge. The glass from the shattered window pierced the raw flesh of her hands. Joy didn’t seem to feel the glass penetrating her flesh.

Jake….Ash… Jr., Josh, she called out to the winds. They were whispering something. All she could see clearly were the remnants of the rose bushes her and the kids planted, when she and Jake first bought the home. The petals were scattered on the ground and along the cement path, which led to the backyard. Joy could see clear through the fence that once separated her and her neighbors. It was destroyed and taken by the tornado. Joy called out to her children once more.

“Ashley Josh, are you ok? Can you hear me?” Still nothing but the faint whisper of the wind. She couldn’t even hear a small cry for help. It was like the town had been abandoned and she was its only resident. Joy looked down at her hands. She was squeezing the window sill so tightly, she hadn’t noticed the blood oozing from her pinched fingers.

“Oh my God!” Joy realized that she was hurt and looked out the window for one last glance before she sought medical treatment. There was nothing but the wind whistling its apologies.

Joy retreated from the window and went to look for her emergency backpack she managed to pack just before the storm hit. She had found the first aid kit, Jake purchased in case of a natural disaster. It was in perfect condition, never opened. Jake was funny like that. Over protective and well prepared. It was almost as if he was waiting for his chance to cast for the next season of, “Survivor.” Joy remembered how she used to tease him about his, “McGovern,” concoctions. He was always inventing some type of gadget out of little to nothing, to either protect himself or use for survival. Now she loved that very trait about him. Some of those, “Go, Go Gadget,” monstrosity’s were high on her list to find help, shelter, and food. I don’t think you planned on a tornado hitting good ole sunny California, did you baby? Joy was smiling as she talked to herself. She was busy climbing her way back towards the entrance of the basement. I sure hope we have something left to climb out too, Joy sighed.













The Shadow

Joy and Jake had only bought their home a year ago. It was their first official purchase together. They had rented and financed cars separately, but they had never actually purchased something of long term that they shared name and title. After they finally decided to get married it became official. They were going to walk the walk and truly trust one another with their lives and the lives of their children.

Jake and Joy had both suffered from the trials and tribulations of a dysfunctional home and family. So they took their devotion to one another quite seriously. Joy had some stability after she was removed from her mothers care. However she never got over trying to make sense of what had occurred in her youth. She was still trying to gain love and acceptance from her mother and father.

On the other hand, her father was trying to gain forgiveness from her. He blamed himself for the abuse Joy suffered at the hands of her mothers new boyfriend, at the tender age of 6. It would take Joy years to reveal her abuse. She had suppressed the memory’s of her nightmares to survive the harsh reality of the world. As if her mother choosing a man over her wasn’t enough. During her years of adolescence the dreams began. She was tortured nightly by the visits of the, “Shadow.” The “Shadow was the name she gave her assailant. He’d appear after dark, when the house was quiet. He grew tired of her mother and would venture to other parts of the home.

His ritual became frequent as he stood in the lighted path just outside her door. Standing there breathing, she could she his chest rise and fall. The smell of beer on his breath, was stung her eyes, as if he were standing right over her. She always awoke with unexplained scratches and bruises on her arms and legs. Cuts that were so deep at times it looked as if she were cut with a knife. It was clear the markings were from fingernails. Hers, to be exact. She was fighting to free herself from the man. “The shadow.”


Joy’s mind drifted into a distant place. She was revisiting her times with Dr. Zimmerman. She was nearing close to a break through; but for some reason she shut down when the dreams came back to life. It was like a force from the devil and his advocates that were insistently, trying to keep her In their realm. Once the dreams came so did the voices, she was just as bad as the Shadow’s wrath. It was if she encouraged her demise.


“I’d clear my throat every time I decided it was time to speak of it. There was never a good time. My legs grew weak, and my throat began to burn. It was hard to swallow. My mouth was so dry. The palms of my hands shook.

I was 17, when the dreams resurfaced. They originated when I was 12. I quickly suppressed them and continued living in darkness. My caramel complexion was bright and glowed in the sun. The outside seemed bright and anew. Just beneath the first layer of skin was meat, tainted and rotting. My soul was dark, and dismal. The joy’s of life were gone. My reflection was distorted, as I were looking into a shattered mirror.

I was only 6 when it happened. I remember like it was yesterday. The wind in the trees, the darkness and quiet of the night. I heard him clear his throat as he leaned his head against the seal of the door. My door was always left open at night in case I had a nightmare. The nightmares weren’t happening in my sleep. There were living breathing, torturous moments of my childhood; that I would just rather forget ever happened. I’m not sure that it did. At least I don’t remember much of the abuse. I don’t reckon anyone who would want to. Unless they were planning revenge. 14 years old was my time of awakening. The dreams began. So did my bout with the troubling, “Teen Opera” of adolescence.

I was short, awkward, the times were changing, and I was lagging behind. I decided that my hair would look grand in one of those jerry curls television commercials were advertising. The hair do turned out to be a hair don’t. I was so excited to get to school that day next day after my makeover. Only to realize that my new style was the hot topic of last years fashion trends.

8th grade happened to be the year of A-symmetrical hair cuts. Short one side long on the others. I still can’t understand the concept of cutting one side of your hair short and leaving the other long. What if I wanted to where a ponytail. I don’t know, it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Is this going anywhere?”

“I don’t know you tell me. You’re are the professional.”

“Last time I checked you wanted to be me. A counselor that is, Brain Doc.”

“I did until I found out that my head was much too screwed up to remotely assist in someone else’s problems. My cup has been full since I can remember. My mind has always raced. Raced in many directions. Maybe that’s why I have never been able to decide on a for sure career. I am an unstable victim of circumstance. I think I could use that excuse for the rest of my days. Many say you shouldn’t over use your sob stories for sympathy. However, it has worked for me. Why fix what is not broken? I have been broken so many times and in so many ways it really doesn’t matter to me if I am evidentially readable. It hasn’t caused too much of a set back. Brains and Beauty has some advantage you know.”

“So what do you do?”

“Whatever sounds good enough to believe“.

“Sounds exhausting. How long do you plan on keeping up this act?”

“What act? I’m serious about the literary group and my writing. I has been a great way to self=counsel, and express my feelings”

“I’m not talking about your writing.”

“Is any of this suppose to go some place? What does this have to do with my dreams? There back. I haven’t had one for about 4 years now. About the time James and I broke up. What do think this could mean? Every time I become sexually active or start a relationship for that matter. I get scared. I have extreme trust and abandonment issues.”

“We went over this. You need to get past the issues you have with your father. Its time to grow up. You have to be the adult in this. I know its hard to swallow but it is what it is.”

“That’s rich. How in the hell and I supposed to forget that my father wasn’t there to protect me when I needed. He let that man molest me over and over again. He ran and let my mother to be beaten while he went on his creative ventures. I hate him.”

“I don’t think this is at all true. I think that you were a child, left in a horrific situation, but you were taken by family and well taken care of might I add.”

‘Is that supposed to make everything better. Dr. Seuss. I mean these riddles you are throwing at me are great. Sure wish this information was of some use to me.”

“We are out of time. The good doctor has clients waiting. Other clients with real issues.”

“You know I don’t know what to do ok. I need help. More meds something.”

“No doctor in their right mind will give you a prescription.”

“Just forget it. What was this anyway? We spend an hour rehashing my indifference. I reopen Pandora’s box every time I come to you. I leave feeling just as broken and confused as when I came in. What is this? I’m scared. None of my family seems to give a shit about what I am going through. Or whether they truly believe me, is still a mystery. Tell me what to do? I can’t keep coming back here and leaving empty handed. Its not fair. This talking to you about nothing is exhausting. Things aren’t going to change. I at least need the meds to calm me. Don’t do this. I need the medication.”

“No you don’t you need to deal with your real issues. If you keep masking them with drugs you are going to loose everything. You are not alone, in this.”

“Yes I am doc. Yes I am.” Joy grabbed for her purse and slung onto her shoulder violently. She was dangerously close to brushing the old Doc’s face, in an attempt to knock his glasses from off his face. He looked so brave and bold. Powerful, I’m sure he felt. Not a care in the world. He held all the cards. Joy didn’t want to play his games any longer. She needed a new way to get her hands on medical supplies. Her usual fight with prescription drugs wasn’t as bad. But lately its all she seemed to care about.

Joy ran down the hall to make the elevator. She was angry. Her plans were falling apart. If she didn’t have the meds to fall back on, there was no way she would ever get sleep. Her mood swings were close together. She was shaky at best, and her work was suffering severely.

“I want out of this mess of a life.” Joy sunk to the bottom of the floor of the elevator and threw her head into her hands. “I just can’t take this anymore. I can’t go home.”

‘You must. You have children.”

“How did you get here? I don’t want to hear anymore of your stupid ideas about me. I’m sick. Sick in the head, ok. I need professional help.”

“No you don’t. You are sick, but not in the head. You are so busy, feeling sorry for yourself you may be able to accomplish something.”

Well I don’t need you. Its not the first time someone has abandoned me. I don’t believe in me. Wouldn’t expect you to stay, and why are you here anyway. All the confessions you made about my so called evil spirit. I just love, how you showed the doctor a thing or two. I can’t even get my prescriptions filled.”

“Begging for them sure wasn’t going to get the job done. Maybe it is time for old Sammy, to come and plead your case. You should start using your resources. They sure haven’t hesitated in using your services for the greater good, when they needed to something done.”

“Maybe? Right now, I just want to get the hell out of here, before I have a nervous breakdown.”

“Nervous breakdown? That may not be such a bad idea. You are thinking a little more along my lines of deception.”



Joy shook the thoughts of visions and haunting spirits, to cause her attention to the whereabouts of her Family. If she could manage to find her phone charger, she would be able to get some juice on her phone. She was saving her battery to call Jacob. She was sure Ashley should have made the station by now. Jake she knew would have taken refuge with the boys, if he had the foresight to prepare for the storm.















“Samantha, Sam I am”


Sam awoke from her nap confused and discombobulated. She was shocked that she could sleep through such a tragic event. The tornado passed through her calm streets like a hovering cloud. After it touched ground miles a way it lifted like a plane taking off. The evening news showed spectators reporting their sightings of the great tornado and its wrath.

“Wow!” Sam chuckled as she threw back the covers on her bed. That was some nap. She was well rested after her long snooze. She was so exhausted, but couldn’t get to sleep so she took a sleeping pill to help calm her nerves. She had slept so soundly if the house had been air lifted into another state, she wouldn’t have even known it.

Sam got up and scooted to the edge of the bed to find out just where the tornado had touched ground. She was laughing out loud at some of the idiots broadcasting how scared they were of the whirlwind torpedo; but stood dangerously close to its angry winds.

“It had to be one of us,” she said to herself as she shook off her restless state, to regain full conscious awareness.

Sam turned her attention to the news broadcast.

“Disaster has struck in our otherwise sunny state. California has never seen such a storm. The angry winds of the great tornado have past. All we have left are remnants of our homes and precious belongings. There are shelters opening in nearby cities. If you need shelter please do not attempt to stay in your home. The foundation of your homes may be very unstable. After suffering such a storm there are several problematic issues that can cause further horrific fatality’s. The American Red Cross is asking that you be careful around electric wiring and gas stoves. There could be a leak some where in your home or business. The American Red Cross is also asking that if you are a Dr., Nurse, or health care provider and you are not injured. Please look to find a shelter to volunteer your services. The county hospital was hit hard. The local clinic is open and is being prepared for emergency patients only. Patients with minor injury’s will have to be looked after in their local shelters.”

Sam sat down and as she began to worry. “Oh my God, I hope everyone is okay.’ I better find my phone.”

Sam ran about the room tossing her covers and pillows here and there to uncover her buried phone. She was beginning to get nervous the way she did when she wasn’t in control. Diving to floor to retrieve her phone as it toppled out from under the crumbled bedspread. She fell to the floor as if rescuing a live grenade.

Sam dialed Joy‘s number without looking and paced the floor impatiently. “Damn it, Joy pick up the damn phone.” Sam had begun to get frustrated with Joy and her stupid electronic devices. She prized herself on having the latest of everything known to man, in regards to communication. Yet she failed to answer or respond to any of her messages.

“God I hope you are ok.” Sam grabbed for her shoes and slung them onto her feet. For the last two years it was only her and her older sister, Joy left in the family. The others were gone. Gone on to bigger and better things. Sam was both envious and angry with her siblings for abandoning one another. She was stuck on family and believed in strength in numbers. With six other brothers and sisters she was confident that if they had vowed to stick together, nothing could break them.

Sadly, there closeness is what ultimately caused a need for separation. The others were the reason for most of the disputes in the family. The ones they loved couldn’t understand why they had to be so close. Why they called one another when the other was in trouble or in harms way. Quite often they were teased individually by there companions about who would be called to rescue he or she from their burning eyes.

Joy was the peace maker. She believed in family and she held on for as long as she could. She tried to foster and nurture the importance of family and education. Some of them listened. Some felt as if to feel the burn, was the essence of life. Joy believed in risks and taking those that would amount to something. “Selfish endeavors would only end in defeat.” She whispered those words every time one of lucky 7 got into trouble. “The lucky 7,” is what she called them. Lucky she said they were. Lucky to have such a task force of support. Even in times of indifference, if there was a knock on the door which threatened to bring harm to one of their flock, there would be a wage of war. No questions asked.

Sam paused as she grabbed for her purse. The aftermath of the storm, showed reports of the damage done in the city Joy lived. Sam dropped her purse and keys to the floor when pictures of the city were flashed upon her large 64 inch flat screen. She was so shocked and dismayed that she couldn’t move. Her legs felt like stone. She was frozen. Her hand covered her open mouth and her eyes were wide with surprise. Sam’s thoughts were spinning out of control. She didn’t know what to do next. She quickly grabbed for her purse and keys and headed for the door. Fumbling to get her jacket on her arms she dropped her phone onto the kitchen floor. It shattered as it hit the tile flooring. Her case was like magic. It finally did its job. Her phone remained in mint condition. The shell was now trash; but her battery could easily be put back into her phone without complication.

“Calm down Sam everything will be fine.” Sam tried to calm her frantic spirit as she dove for the floor to pick up the pieces to her phone. Her arm was half way in her leather blazer and her hair was thrown towards her face blocking her view of the phone. “You have got to get a hold of yourself. Oh My God… the boys, Charles. I hope they weren’t in the middle of the storm.”

She just remembered that her children and husband worked across town. It was in the same direction of Joy and her family. It was Charles’ idea to move to a new city. He took a job at a firm downtown. His complaint was mainly because of Joy. He often said that we were basically living together. We were always visiting one another. “Well Charles looks like the move didn’t work either. Just more work for me.”

Sam and Joy, texted at least 100 times a day. Now it was an hour drive out. Sam finished gathering the necessities for her trip and mapped out the quickest route to get to Joy. Since most of the roads would be closed she would have to go around. She could only imagine the traffic. She had no choice but to go and find out if she was ok. Oakwood was hit the hardest. The number of causality’s were going up by the minute. Sam changed the battery in her phone and sprinted to her car. She wanted to try Charles one last time before she got on the road.


Sam got into her car quickly and followed her safety precautions, before dialing Charles again. “Come on Charles pick up.” Sam wanted…needed to hear his voice. Even though she knew now that Charles and the kids didn’t feel the blunt of the storm, she needed to know that they were ok. The most Charles and the boys experienced were some heavy rains for about a half hour. Sam breathed in deeply and exhaled as she heard Charles clear his throat in an effort to say hello.

“Hey… Sam. You ok? I have been trying to call you for at least an hour now. My phone has been going in and out since the power outage.”

“Oh my God… I am so happy to hear your voice.” Sam sighed with a sense of release. “I didn’t realize the power went out where you were, as well.”

“Yea its out, in blocks all over the city. We are having some sort of rolling blackout. The tornado took out some power lines in Oakwood. Power lines which we all happen to share. I’m just happy to hear that you are okay. I checked with the boys school already. They are fine. All the students were ushered into the auditorium. The principle is holding all of the students there until the parents arrive to pick them up.”

“Okay great. I am so glad to hear that.”

“Where are you?” Charles noticed the quiet winds hitting the phones receiver. “Are you outside?” Charles asked with a hint of aggravation in his voice. “What are you doing outside? I heard the highway patrol discouraging anyone without an immediate need stay in doors. You aren’t going where I think you’re going, are you Sam?”

“I have to Charles. She is all alone. Her book tour was this week. The children and Jake left this morning. She has to be worried sick. Plus what if she’s hurt? If you heard the news, then you know?”

“Then I know what Sam? That you are running out to save a grown woman with a family of her own. She has a husband that loves her just as I love you. You can’t be everywhere all the time.”

“You know what that, was an awful thing to say. You can be really harsh at times. I love you Charles. I will see you soon. Thank you, for picking up the kids.” Sam hung up the phone. She turned on her blue tooth and put her earpiece on. She started on her way.


Charles reluctantly hung up, and disconnected his phone from his car charger. He was fed-up with the club rules of sisterhood. Trying to shake the thoughts of envy from his brow, he was reminded that a member of his team, was not accounted for.

Jake, friend, family, and business partner, had yet to check in with him either. Jake had phoned Charles about a meeting with a client, that he needed him to head out in light of his Family trip. He was so caught up with chasing his secretary and hiding his gambling debts he simply forgot. Charles was often preoccupied with Sam and the kids, finding out about his secret obsessions with cards, horses, and sport bets. He could handle his indiscretions, it was Sam he couldn’t deal with and her meddling sister Joy.







Invisible Wall…




Joy came from within her shell, and decided to shake herself back into reality. She had drifted into a cocoon of worry and destitution, afraid to come to the realization of the inevitable. Sounds of unfamiliarity came from what was left of her living room. Without a second thought she pulled herself up from her knees and dusted her fears to the wind. Stepping high and fast over the debris she flew from her den and ransacked the gentleman from behind like a 300 pound full back. Wrestling the man down to the ground, her hair clouded her vision. Beating him about the head and shoulders she yelled murderous, threats and obscenities as the man begged for his life.

“Please, I am not an intruder. I’m here to help.”

Joy ignored his plight. “Get the hell out of my house, you thief.”

“Please lady I can’t find my wife. I am looking for her and others.”

Joy stood up slowly still holding tightly to the mans worn sweatshirt. She wasn’t sure that she could trust him. Joy could admit that she did seem a bit deranged. She was screaming and howling like some crazed animal, with whom escaped from a cage.

“Get up! I don’t think your wife would be in my home.”

“Really I didn’t know that the tornado had designated quadrants in which they threw people. I don’t know where she is. I have scoured the entire neighborhood for more than 5 miles from here. Still, there is no sign of her.”

“I’m sorry,” Joy looked down at her hands that were still trembling with fear and rage. “I don’t know what came over me. I admit I am fierce when I get angry. I see nothing but red. I tend to blackout. It helps keep my conscience at bay. I use this technique to rid myself of fear when in times of confrontation. Its weird I know that’s what you are thinking. Either that you, you think I’m crazy. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just didn’t expect anyone to be snooping around in my home. Its amazing how people become helpful during times of trouble. Instead of trying to help others we are too busy trying to help ourselves.”

The man began to look around the room and traced his hands along joys mantle. He picked up one of the figurines and placed it gently where he found it.

The man looked wide eyed at a vase that sat unharmed on an end table beside the couch. He recognized the design. His eyes lit up as he knew that the vase collection was very rare, and over a hundred years old. Not paying attention to Joys growing agitation and worry about his true motivations, he picked up the vase to admire its beauty more closely.

“Great speech lady; I was looking for survivors ok?”

Joy cleared her throat to get the mans attention. “Um Really is that why you have my grandmothers vase in your hands. I’m pretty sure glass doesn’t live and breathe. Thanks for the help but I don’t need it. Now get the hell out of my house.”

“Sure, lady. I meant no harm. You got yourself a nice piece of art here. Lucky she didn’t break. I wasn’t looking to steal. I just complimented you on a fine piece of artifact you have here.” The surprisingly cocky man looked around the open room and smiled a crooked smile. “I sure as hell wouldn’t call this a home.” The man said as he looked around the remains of Joy’s beautiful 5 bedroom home. He starred at Joy for a few moment longer and put his hands down to his side. He left without another word.

Joys entire left side of the living room was completely gone. Its was like they were standing in the middle of the twilight zone. Privacy and their rights now exposed to the public.

Joy looked out into the open space behind the now visibly troubled man and remembered how close she came to finally feeling safe and comfortable. Her home was destroyed. Her vision blurred as she walked among the destroyed pieces of her most treasured items. Joys phone began to ring, just hearing a sign from the civilized world gave her strength. She was weak with emotion; but filled with the yearning to survive and bring her family home. Joy wiped her face and fled about the rubbish on a search to recover her phone.

“Come on Damn it.” Joy was frantically throwing around the fallen pictures, lamps, and cushions. “Ring…Come on, I’m here I just need you to ring again damn it.” Joy was so frustrated. She fell down to her knees and began to scream. She began to cry hysterically. “I’ve got to get out of here. I need to get to my family.”

After a few moments alone with her break down she recovered with a new found passion to rescue her children. She looked up suddenly as if she could hear their voices calling out to her. Joy cleared a path, so she could put some things she would need for her trip to the side. “Where the hell is my purse, I need to phone Jacob.”



 All rights reserved, copyright 2010, Aija M. Butler













There are no messages yet
Novel / Novella
writing Authoraijambutler
I slithered upon the shores of a quiet beach and brushed the sand from my burning feet. I called out for help, there was no response. Slowly, I gathered my items. The weapons I take to war daily, a small leather bond journal, a leather pouch I wore just around my neck, ink.

My pen and pad, are most precious to me. The healing of the mind, and the rebirth of a lost soul.

Writing is my muse, a tool I use to diffuse the torturous trials of this life.

The Resurrection, 360 degrees of a woman scorn, now reborn beautiful me.
Bookmark and Share

You must log in to rate.
This has not been rated.

Small Blurb: After the tragic loss of Joy Anderson's Family she begins to question her place on earth. Her consciousness wavers from the good hearted person she has been and the deceptive giant waiting, to run havoc on those she feels are partly responsible. Full Description: Joy Anderson is a high profile Literary agent and journalist with whom owns her own magazine. Work is her muse, as the dynamics of her family are often stressful. Plagued with the responsibility that comes with being the eldest sibling she wears the hat of both mother sister and financier, since the loss of their parents. Joy’s life takes a turn when she is involved in a terrible accident, which renders her cripple. She is forced to put her career on hold, as she recovers. A series of catastrophic events leaves Joy to question God and her very existence. Joy falls prey to the seduction of therapeutic psychotherapy drugs. Conflict arises as the addiction breeds havoc against her sanity and physical health. She begins to suffer from a variety of psychotic breaks varying from degrees of delusional behavior and auditory, visual hallucinations, so she thinks. However, when Joy begins to suffer from severe migraines, unexplained breaks in memory, and mood change, she seeks further medical attention, to find that her outer body occurrences are very real. She is diagnosed with Dissociate Identity Disorder. Resulting in the birth of her alter ego Leliel Andras, the 12th angel of night and Lucifer’s angel of quarrel and deceit. Leliel brings about a slew of volatile conflicts. Joy flees from conflict, as Leliel, welcomes it. The thin line between good and evil is tested. As Leliel represents both sides of the coin, examining the true essence of Joy’s heart. Samantha, Joy’s younger sister, is forced to step into her big sisters shoes and handle not only her troubled families issues but Joys shaky behavioral dysfunctions which threaten to end her already troublesome marriage. However with the growing deception and evil tricks Joy appears to be behind. Sam questions her sisters loyalty, and jealousy manifest itself. When Sam is faced with a chance to live beyond her sisters shadow she must choose between saving her sister from her disease or salvaging what's left of her marriage. As she ponders having Joy committed, others question the validity of Sam’s motives. While Leliel takes matters in her own hands. Andras begins to change the balance of things by convincing Joy the others simply have done nothing but take advantage of her. Which begs the question of who exactly is Joy’s true Nemesis?
A Word from the Writer
Please feel free to review and post credible comments please. Thank you.
Published Date
2/25/2011 12:00:00 AM