The Passing of Sand and Shadow

The Passing of Sand and Shadow

There have been moments in my life that I have wished to freeze.  Moments that I wish could have lasted a lifetime simply so that I could have all the time in the world just to sit and breathe in every detail of that particular instant.  There have been things and people I have come across that I have had the desire to capture just to be able to fully appreciate the beauty and perfection of what it was that I was seeing that second.  It is like a scene in a movie, if you see something funny, admirable, or awesome you can simply pause and move ahead in the film, frame by frame, until you have isolated that one picture in time, captured it, and memorized every detail.  Or like a painting or photograph that is so emotionally powerful that you are compelled to sit and drink in every small brushstroke or color upon the canvas until you are moved to tears or laughter.  I have often wished that I had the talent inside of me to paint for there have been moments in my life that I have wished to capture and live in, moments that passed in a second, but left an undeniable mark upon my mind that lasted for days, months, and even years.  Thinking back to some of those memories brings a tirade of mixed feelings spanning from happiness and awe, to rage and sadness.  Is it not strange how a simple image frozen in ones mind could bring forth so many feelings, how our minds respond like clockwork to each moment in time.  We are all individuals and it is foolish to think that everyone reacts the same way.  Having said that, what is it that we each consider to be ‘beauty’?  How often do we stop to truly appreciate that which we define as ‘divine’, or ‘beautiful’?  I will venture to say that it is not often enough.  I have a deep respect for beauty and am drawn to it in a rather acute manner; there are moments in each of our lives that we should pause and observe, analyze and expound upon then study, reflect, and ultimately learn from.
     I find it fascinating that one thing most artists can agree on in terms of beauty is the female form.  It is an art study that has been duplicated and transposed more times than I care to count over the years.  I also find it intriguing how women can hold such a power over so many people, bypassing social stature, age, and beliefs without even realizing it.  The beauty that they possess has been the downfall of many men since before the birth of Christ, and I am certain that the cycle will never end.  Even I often lose myself in the perfection that seems to become them.  Would it be so wrong to stop time and fully appreciate that?  Would they hate you for it if you truly saw them in an untainted, pure light purging your eyes of all lasciviousness and perversion?  Simply observing them without the indoctrination of our secular society?
    Have you ever seen someone so beautiful, so radiant, that you wished you could simply bring time to a standstill and spend an eternity drinking every little detail of their essence?  Not in a perverse sense, but more so in a way that demands a level of wisdom to truly understand.  There have been times where I have wanted to stop the movement of the age and observe, to take in every single detail of such a beautiful creature as she.  The way her hair cascades off of her shoulders and down her back, the softness of her eyes and the casual way she carries herself.  The way her chest slowly rises and falls with the gentle movement of each breath inhaled and exhaled.  The ripples in her clothing as it wraps itself around her each and every curve. 

Am I so alone in my endeavor to see life itself?  To understand what it is to fully appreciate the beauty of the world we live in? 

I love the morning for one reason: the sunrise.  I love seeing the light break over the misted mountains, casting rays of light across the valley and deepening the shadows of the yet tenacious night.  I love the sunrise and seeing the clouds blend from white to yellow to red, blue, and purple and then back to brilliant yellow as the sun creates a central point from which they all seem to radiate across the sky like a perfect canvas in majestic proportion.  The sky is a powerful beauty and in that I find peace.
    Likewise, dusk inspires an equal, if not somewhat bolder, feeling in my chest.  I have seen great pillars of light illuminating vast stretches of land and shadowing a patchwork of darkness across the earth.  I have seen the clouds surrounding the sun as a broken bowl, the light acting as water as it seemingly fell through each hole in the sky, signaling the sun’s daily warning of departure. I love to watch the moon as it seemingly materializes on the opposing side of the sky, shining translucent white as a ghost passing beyond a pane of glass.  I have to say, though, that the night is the most fascinating beauty of all.
    I cannot say how many hours I have lost just leaning against my car, smoking a cigarette and watching the night sky, it is truly breathtaking. Have you ever noticed how blue the night sky is once you let your eyes adjust?  How the dark gray and white clouds fade into the infinitely blue sky and how the stars seem like ripples of light piercing a black ocean?  I get lost in studying the moon at night, the light surrounding it comes in waves, it seems.  Almost as if the moons were a rock dropped into a pond, the ripples seem to surround and collect with those that the stars glow with making a tapestry of light and color far beyond the clichéd ‘black night’.  The night truly is a powerful beauty, one that I get lost in.
    I could forever observe and analyze how each of these forms, however briefly described, can illustrate just how depressing and awesome life can be; how they, at the same time and in conjunction, can either inspire dreams of completion or cause us to descend into dreams of blessed sadness.  I have often written about these things that I have attempted to capture, desperately trying to describe them with the crassly limited medium of words and the infinity flawed camera in my mind’s eye and that is why I have written this today.  I hope to compel the inspiration in more than just myself to take the time to appreciate what is normally taken for granted, to observe and spend time reflecting upon the beauty that is all around us and to finally quell the perversion of something so perfect and pure.  These are my thoughts, and in them I find that peace and disquiet are two sides to the same coin.  You cannot have one without the other.  The same applies with beauty and sorrow.


Brandon_the_Decaying_Ocean   Brandon_the_Decaying_Ocean wrote
on 12/8/2008 2:57:45 AM
Deep Bro really Deep... good job!

lindsay   lindsay wrote
on 11/30/2008 2:08:59 AM
Great article!

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writing AshesofLilith
And God created the dust and from dust he begot man; we are but ashes and dust scattered by the wind across a vast nothingness we ourselves have created.
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