I saw you my child, though you didn't see me
I saw you beneath me, I knew you, and more
Though I had never seen you before.

I wished I could hold you, remember your form,
but nothing like the dreams I had; now torn.

So soon you are gone...you have left,
Nothing left inside me now
And I struggle with comprehension.

The weeks, months of care, of watch, of wonder
Are whispers now - ripped asunder
With your sudden, excruciating exit from me
I lie here alone with my body empty.

Oh, I would have loved you, my child, my Wee Bean,
Held you, sang to you, kept you so clean,
Much cleaner than your ignoble descent
When my tears and my cries were nearly all spent.

If only you'd stayed - made us your folks
Your life could have filled with laughter, with jokes,
With music and nature and beauty and fun.
But all of it's over... before it's begun.

And so I sleep tonight.

Alone without.

Alone within.

vwhitlock   vwhitlock wrote
on 10/14/2008 9:59:13 AM
You captured on paper all the raw emptiness of a mother's heartache and the unbelievable void left in the wake of the loss of a child.

OneVoice   OneVoice wrote
on 10/10/2008 2:26:16 PM
My heart goes out to you Anyafay... the loss of a child is eternally life-altering. May your emptiness be filled with peace and understanding

StarPoet   StarPoet wrote
on 10/9/2008 11:13:33 PM
The pain leaps off the page at you for you told it with such emotion. And you closed it so well. So sad but so true that many women have felt this. You do them all a great service here.

BlueIris   BlueIris wrote
on 10/9/2008 11:23:58 AM
I have never experienced this pain, but in reading your poem I almost know what it feels like.

zaidsong   zaidsong wrote
on 10/9/2008 6:22:30 AM
I've been here 4 times, Anyafay. I hear and understand your emptiness. You capture it well. I wish neither one of us knew this pain, but I stand with you in it, and lift you up, my soul sister.

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Rating: 9.7/10

A Word from the Writer
7th October 2008
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