swimming through darkness

Have you ever felt like the world is out to get you. That insanity and paranoia is the only thing that helps you survive today. Trapped and surrounded by demons and people with masks, laughing and stalking, where darkness of the eternal is the only way out.

I blinked my eyes open to a world of darkness with only the sound of my sister screaming my name through my bedroom door.

“I’m up, you can shut up now!” I croaked at her, wishing it was Saturday. I heard her high heels stomping down the stairs, irritated. I threw my pillow over my head and was deciding whether or not I was going to ditch school today or not when a knock came from the door, interrupting my thoughts.

“What?” I asked, letting whoever it was know I wasn’t happy with them.

“Your breakfast in on the table and getting cold I might add,” came Joe’s voice through the door. Joe is my older sister’s boyfriend, who by the way just moved in, like yesterday.

“Alright, I’ll be down when I’m down,” I called out through the door, a little more friendly, I like Joe, he is cute and no matter how moody my sister and I got, he was still always nice to us. That right there is a very rare male quality these days, I think that’s why my sister finely settled down and stayed with him for longer than a week.

I reached over to my nightstand and turned on my lamp, I was blinded momentarily and then felt the beginnings of a headache as I was pinching my eyes shut. It took me a few blinks but finely I managed to get my eyes open for longer than a second, I picked up and old red pillow case and threw it over the shade of the lamp, and instantly it was more bearable. I rolled my eyes up to find my cat, Rayne ,still asleep at the top of my pillows. I pet her and she started purring and chirped a hello at me, she was the only living thing that made me happy these days, ever since my mom died. I glanced at my alarm clock and it was 5:15, for the second day in a row they’d woken me up before my alarm clock went off. I was going to have to have a discussion with them about this, I don’t function well on lack of sleep and the bastards just shorted me at least 20 minutes worth. I stood up stretching all the muscles in my body willing them to wake up. I walked over to my vanity and checked myself out, my hair held up in a high ponytail, still looked good along with my leftover makeup, so my day just got a little easier. I walked into my closet and couldn’t decide on what to wear, I dress based on my mood, and I hadn’t been awake long enough to decide really what my mood was. Well, black will work, I’m usually always in a bad mood so it’s a safe choice I decided; I picked out a pair of baggy black pants with chains, a pair of handcuffs, and some white straps criss-crossing in the back. I grabbed a black wife beater to match and my black air walks and I was set for the day. I looked around for my backpack and couldn’t find it. I walked down the wooden stairs and into the bottom part of the loft. Our house consisted of two stories, it was a barn transformed into a house, on the top floor it had three rooms and a full bathroom and on the ground floor was the family room, kitchen, dining room, and a half bath. It was a neat little house and filled with a lot of good memories, of course now it’s up for sale, as my sister and me can’t afford to make the payments on it. I walked into the dining room and saw Joe setting a plate down on the table with a potholder and an apron, he glanced up at me and smiled. Joe had had a good life growing up and it showed in his face when he smiled, he was still a very innocent person, and very naive too; the poor bastard, how the hell he wound up in this family I will never know. I just stared at him and his smiled faltered ever so slightly, and then I felt bad for making his smile do that.

“Hi Joe, not used to seeing you so early,” I said in hopes of making things better, I didn’t want to pick a fight with him, no, that was what my sister was for. And speaking of the devil, in walks in my 5’9 sister with her chestnut brown hair spilling down her back in loose curls and golden sun kissed skin. Her bright blue eyes were captivating, her make-up was expertly done and she was wearing a pair of faded washed jeans with holes in them, that cost her 70 dollars and she was wearing a beige spaghetti strap shirt with lace going along the bottom and top of it, it showed off her great cleavage that all the men drool over.

“ You need to hurry up or you’ll be late for school,” she said frowning with her coffee in hand as she sat down at the table. I wanted to think of something snotty to say just to give her a hard time but I couldn’t think of anything, so I walked over to a plate I was assuming was mine and started eating. She stared at me sipping her coffee as if expecting me to start a fight with her, which I do about half the time. But after a few minutes I think she made up her mind that I wasn’t going to start anything so she settled back against the chair and crossed her legs Indian style, trying to relax before she went off for work. I envied her that her job was so easy, all she had to do was show up to work looking pretty and get her picture taken. All the while I will be at school then off to my job at Food Fusion fast food restaurant. Fast food has to be the hardest type of job to work, so many people are rude and don’t treat anyone working with any respect. They’re all just a bunch of animals, I think my job has something to do with why I hate people and society today.

Why I was lost in my thoughts, my sister had been running around the house collecting all of her things and left, so it was down to just Joe and me, awkward.

“Do you want me to take you to school?” Joe asked picking at his food.

“No, I’m capable of walking as I have been for years now,” I said getting up and walking up to my room. I saw my backpack sitting by the door, well I guess that’s everything now. I walked in and threw myself on my bed I was so tired, and that’s when I decided that I would go to school so that I didn’t get a detention later. So I dragged myself to school dreading my decision already. I walked into Home room fifteen minutes late, but that was nothing new; I walked straight back to the last seat in the corner and automatically laid my head down after I threw my bag down of the floor next to my desk.

“Do you have a pass Mrs. Murphy?” The too thin and too annoying Ms. Thompson asked.

“Nope,” I replied not even bothering to lift my head from the desk.

“Well, you’ve had three tardies, so I’m assigning you detention for tomorrow at three,” she said with pinched lips, my mom always did that when she was mad too.

“Mmk,” and with that last not I went to sleep.

I was dreaming that I was running through a tunnel and it lead to an old wooden door with torches on either side. The door was open just a crack and in that crack their was only total darkness and the smell of mold leaking out into the air. I was reaching for the iron ring handle when I jumped awake in my desk to the bell screaming for us to go to our next class. I walked out of the room with my bag slung over my shoulder and my hand shoved into my pocket fumbling with my lighter, it was my nervous gesture that I always did. I don’t know why but I have always been nervous at school; I think it has to do with the fact that I know that everyone is judging me and well, what person doesn’t that bother?

After school was all done and over with I had enough time to go home and grabbed my uniform which consisted of nothing but black and called them to tell them I was going to be 5 minutes late. They weren’t happy but then again they can kiss my ass, I hated the job anyways. I was a shift leader there which by dictionary term means I run the shift and make sure everything goes smoothly, but my boss’s terms meant I had to do everything an actual manager is supposed to do, but without the good pay. I asked to go salary once and my boss just looked at me and laughed, told me that someone with a temper like mine could never move up in this job, and yet that’s the same thing he told me when I was crew, I hope that he wasn’t being serious this time about it. When I finally walked into work, they were slammed, there were cars wrapped around the drive-thru and there were people lined up to the doors waiting to get there order taken in the dining room. Which for me meant that the manager here didn’t get anything done and that I would be staying over and extra hour to an hour in an half to finish it though I don’ t get paid to do it. I clocked in and immediately my stress levels went up, the grill person was running out of meet so I laid meat down, I had a very angry and hostile person taking orders in my drive-thru, I had one person running the whole front area, meaning they were taking orders, making the food, handing the food out, and also cleaning the dining room in between orders. And where was the manager you might ask, sitting in the office counting money and eating, how predictable. This is why I hate fast food! If it wasn’t for the pay that I received I wouldn’t be here, that and my sister would flip her wig if I just quit my job.


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Novel / Novella
writing Alexiskaylor
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