They say only you can describe yourself to the world. I find this false. See, most people have this skewed view of themselves, so one can never find the truth when someone describes themselves. This is because people either have a positive or negative self-image. So, basically when someone talks about themselves you will either hear how they are really good at something or really bad at something. Perhaps that is why I'm hesitantly procrastinating about actually talking about myself. Perhaps I don't know how? For I fear that since my life is so full of dichotomy it is utterly pointless to actually try to talk about myself. Perhaps I don't see the point in disclosing my hobbies, dreams, and interests. But such is my nature, I care so much about what people think of me that I tend to be a mirror. I reflect other people back. I'm who people want me to be and I'm a different person around different people. Perhaps that is why I have not really divulged any information about myself, I don't know how I am. I'm somewhere between a boy and a man, yet neither the former or latter. People say I'm smart, yet I act ignorant. I'm funny yet can't take a joke, I'm happy yet sad. See, I wish I could just tell you what I am like, but I can't for there would be a million answers all of which could be right. Hell, my friends would all tell you different answers, which makes sense. I'm rarely the same person throughout the day, I'm always changing and being what my friends think I am. But, of course this could be because I am human. As humans we tend to wear these hats for different occasions. These hats are magic hats, they change our personality to fit the situation, but such is life. Sure, not all people do this, but most do, in fact I'm sure once I get by degree in History all my students will be the same. At least one kid will be the trouble maker, one will be the teacher's pet, the class clown, the know-it-all, and a myriad of other roles that need filled in the dynamic world of pointlessness that we call high school. In fact to me it seems like every place has them. From my favorite sports teams, Steelers, Pirates, Arsenal, Barcelona, Juventus, to Fortune 500 companies. Within our world there are microcosms that happen all the time, and we can't control them for they are part of our daily life. These tiny events seem minute and pointless but they are perhaps far more important than major event that could happen. For they say that if you step on a butterfly now a county could fall in the future. Perhaps that is why people want to see the future, but the thing about seeing the future is that it's never the same. For once you glance at it you have just changed it and can never fix it. But such ideas are best left for works of literature not an about me box on a writing website. Thus brings us to my final point of my nonsensical rambling. The one thing about myself that I can tell you without any bias on anything. I love to write, there is just something so innate about it. I just can't put my figure on it, but I enjoy the ecstasy I get when I write that eloquently simple line that sticks with you after you have read something. Or just sitting in a room with nothing but your thoughts and a notebook and just exploring the inter workings of your mind to see what you shall discover, will it be the next "Fellowship?" Or perhaps the next "1984?" Or "Animal Farm?" Or even "The Old Man and the Sea?" that is the beauty of writing, the possibilities are endless and the feeling you get when you write the perfect line, poem, short story, play, or novel is incomparable. I feel that it is the only true happiness that humanity shall ever experience, thus why I want to share it with the world.
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